Pop Chart
SHOCKING
SOUTH PARK registers displeasure over Indiana Jones sequel with episode showing Indy violated by Lucas and Spielberg
FAMILY GUY to do live reading at Carnegie Hall. Carnegie Hall shudders
BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA continues its reign over the October box office. It's not as if these Wall Street guys have anything else to do
BRITNEY SPEARS sings, writhes suggestively in racy new music video. She's back, people!
Following atrocious EMMY AWARDS hosted by reality-show judges, Emmys create reality-show-host award
WEEKLY WORLD NEWS saved!
COLIN POWELL: slightly better rapper than Karl Rove
JONAS BROTHERS to play Dallas Cowboys halftime show. Terrell Owens squeals with glee
PREDICTABLE
WALL STREET sequel in the works. Producers ask government for financing
ACE OF BASE to release new album in 2009, so enjoy the rest of 2008
VLADIMIR PUTIN gets tiger cub for his birthday, plans to teach it tiger-claw judo flip
Gossip Girl stars team up with MOVEON.ORG for Obama ad, further solidifying Obama's appeal to rich kids of nonvoting age
RINGO STARR puts a moratorium on fan mail in desperate attempt to get fan mail
MARK WAHLBERG not amused by Barky Bark and the Donkey Bunch
'80s Sci-fi lizard series V to be remade. Only 17 '80s series to go
MADONNA and GUY RITCHIE, splitsville
SHOCKINGLY PREDICTABLE