People

By Rebecca Winters Keegan

SCREEN TEST

So you know the winners and losers, but do you know the really important stories that came out of Oscar night? Then prove it.

1) To congratulate Helen Mirren, who won Best Actress for her portrayal of Elizabeth II in The Queen, the real Queen is expected to:

A) Invite her to tea at Buckingham Palace

B) Invite her to girls' weekend at Balmoral--manis and pedis with Camilla!

C) Give her a flask engraved HER ROYAL HOTTIE

D) Name a particularly feisty corgi after her

2) Jack Nicholson arrived at the ceremony with a newly shaved head because:

A) He wanted to show solidarity with Britney Spears

B) The fright wig he was going to wear would have blocked the view of folks behind him

C) He's filming Who Loves Ya Baby?, Rob Reiner's biopic about Telly Savalas, with Jennifer Aniston

D) He's filming The Bucket List, Rob Reiner's buddy comedy about cancer patients, with Morgan Freeman

3) Naomi Watts' dress designer, Escada, revealed which of the following previously unknown facts about the Australian star in an Oscar- day press release?

A) She has a birthmark near her navel that is the exact color of Vegemite

B) She's expecting a baby with boyfriend Liev Schreiber

C) She and pal Nicole Kidman tell each other the best New Zealander jokes, like, ever

D) She has her own line of lingerie, Down Underwear

ANSWERS: 1) A; 2) D; 3) B

Sharpton's Surprise

Dig deep enough into any family and you can turn up some pretty interesting dirt. Ancestry.com found that Coleman Sharpton, the great-grandfather of civil rights activist AL SHARPTON, was a slave owned by Julia Thurmond, whose grandfather was the great-great-grandfather of Senator STROM THURMOND. Yep, ancestors of the deceased icon of segregation owned ancestors of the permed icon of Brooklyn, N.Y. "The shame is that people were owned as property," said the ever voluble Sharpton, who used the revelation to do a little sermonizing. "Strom Thurmond ran for President in 1948 on a segregationist ticket. I ran in '04 on a ticket for racial justice," he said. "That shows what America can become."

Q&A GAEL GARCIA BERNAL

After playing a beleaguered border crosser in Babel, just out on DVD, Mexico's multilingual Gael Garcia Bernal directed his first film, Deficit

You haven't been in many U.S. films. Why doesn't Hollywood appeal to you?

It's not that it's not appealing or I'm holding back. But if a Latin American film like Motorcycle Diaries comes up, I'm going to do it. It's about what I like.

Three Mexican directors were nominated for Oscars this year. Why the sudden recognition?

The reasons are pretty clear: the films are good. They are great directors who never compromise their point of view.

In Babel, U.S. border agents are suspicious of your character's motives for entering the U.S. Has this been your experience?

Yes, I've crossed in many places: Juarez, Tijuana, Tecate. It's sort of a ritual of humiliation. You get asked questions you don't know how to answer because they're ridiculous, like "Where do you come from?" I'm, like, "Are you serious? From Mexico. Where else?"

Can we have a plot preview of Deficit?

We're still editing, so I can only say blurry things. It's a story about loss of privileges and the end of impunity. It revolves around a family.

Did you enjoy directing?

It's enjoyable but demanding. You have to take care of the baby until it comes out.

You're a fan of The Big Lebowski. Do you have a favorite scene?

When [Lebowski, played by Jeff Bridges] mentions that his rug really held the room together.

World's Sexiest Policy Wonk

Look out, Henry Kissinger, someone else may be hogging all the wattage at the next Council on Foreign Relations meeting. The prestigious foreign-policy organization, with members like Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice and Alan Greenspan, has nominated globetrotting actress and tabloid fixation ANGELINA JOLIE for membership. Selection of members is based on their demonstrated interest in world affairs. Jolie, who spent Oscar weekend visiting refugees in Chad for the United Nations and who has adopted a son from Cambodia and a daughter from Ethiopia, clearly fills that bill. Frankly, we can't imagine anyone better to disarm a rogue state.

With reporting by Carolina Miranda