Working It

By Barry Blitt

The future is coming and with it, several prodictions [Check them off as they occur]

o Frank Gehry's clothing line hits the streets. There are injuries

YOU MUST BE THIS WIDE TO ENTER!

o Strict guidelines are finally put in place to combat the skinny-model problem

o Baby toupees will be the latest craze among the increasingly young image-conscious

o A tiny, more invasive strain of paparazzo will be developed, resulting in unprecedented access to even the most publicity-shy stars

o Celebrities adopting children from poor countries will have it easier, with "one stop" kiosks opening soon at many high-end department stores

o HeadOn becomes available in Zoloft and Lexapro

APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FRONTAL LOBE

o Television-news anchors will get sidekicks, house bands and vocal in-studio audiences (and a brief boost in the ratings)