Punchlines

"Anybody here from Wisconsin? All right, put down the cheese for a second. I got to talk to you. Listen to this: A guy in Wisconsin, he created a ball of twine that weighs 19,000 lbs. Nineteen thousand pounds, a ball of twine--and guess what, girls? He's single." --DAVID LETTERMAN

"There's a hurricane watch for Tropical Storm Ernesto. That's the name: Ernesto. See, even the hurricanes are getting smarter. They know a Hispanic hurricane has a better chance of getting into the country." --JAY LENO

"Apple has issued a recall on several models of Mac laptops because the battery can overheat and catch fire. Experts say a Mac fire is just like a PC fire, except it's more hip and condescending." --CONAN O'BRIEN

> For more humor, go to time.com/cartoons