People

By Rebecca Winters Keegan

BUT DID HE GET A GOLD WATCH? Surely CBS didn't expect Gunga Dan to sit in his office playing online poker. When DAN RATHER stepped down as anchor of the CBS Evening News last year after apologizing for flawed reporting in a story about President Bush's National Guard service, the longtime journalist hoped to snare some meaty assignments on 60 Minutes. But "after a protracted struggle," Rather said, CBS execs "had not lived up to their obligation to allow me to do substantive work," and network and newsman parted months before the end of Rather's contract, in November. CBS tried to make nice, calling Rather "extraordinary" and promising to air a special on his 44-year career there in the fall. Just don't look for one with a happy ending.

Q&A FIONA APPLE This summer, shy singer-songwriter Fiona Apple is touring behind her first album in six years, Extraordinary Machine. And this time she kind of likes it.

You say you have social anxiety. How does that work when you sing in front of crowds every night? I spend most of my day holed up in my hotel room, in silence, boring myself to death. Everybody else [on the tour] comes back, and they've got bags of s___ that they've bought, and they've gone to museums. I haven't gone out, and I feel like such a dud. But I really have to starve myself of people. I have to get myself into a calm trance and then I'm just--pow!--out the door and happy to see everybody.

What did you do in the six years between this album and your last one? I don't know what I was doing. When I start to write, I get panicked 'cause I know all this other activity is going to happen when I'm done. I always have this terrible feeling when I finish a song.

Your fans, who thought the record company was holding you back, launched a "Free Fiona" movement. Were you touched? I was impressed they were so organized. They sent the record company apples. Did they have meetings? Did somebody have to figure out where to get the apples?

Accepting an award on MTV in 1997, you declared, "The world is bulls___." Are you going to the Video Music Awards this year? That's sort of my idea of a horrible day. I don't think they'll invite me.

WADE'S WORLD What's the secret to NBA star DWYANE WADE'S success? Eminem and McDonald's. Before games, "I always get some me time," says the Miami Heat guard who last week took home the NBA finals MVP Award after leading his team to victory over the Dallas Mavericks. Before Game 6, D-Wade says, he listened to Eminem's Lose Yourself several times. "There's a lot of words in there that get your mind right." The 24-year-old also enjoys a diet regimen not endorsed by most sports nutritionists: "I'm a Quarter Pounder, double-cheeseburger, chicken-nuggets guy," Wade says. He skips Big Macs, however. "I'm not a vegetable eater." Well, then, we guess there's more salad for Shaq. --Reported by Adam Pitluk

SCREEN TEST: WHAT'S YOUR CELEBRITY INTELLIGENCE QUOTIENT?

1) DAVID SCHWIMMER RECENTLY WON A DEFAMATION LAWSUIT AGAINST SOMEONE WHO SAID,

A) He demanded free Rolexes for appearing at his own charity event

B) He demanded free Rolexes for the monkey on Friends

C) While appearing in Broadway's The Caine Mutiny Court Martial, he asked other cast members to greet him with "Hey, sailor!"

D) Jennifer Aniston wouldn't take him to a Cubs game with Vince Vaughn

2) CHER APPEARED ON CAPITOL HILL TO URGE CONGRESS TO:

A) Provide better helmets for U.S. troops

B) Give generous tax breaks for cosmetic surgery

C) Turn back time/ So she could find a way/ To take back all the words that have hurt you

D) Look into Celine Dion's immigration status

3) WHAT DID NICOLE KIDMAN AND KEITH URBAN DO TO ENSURE A LOVELY AUSTRALIAN WEDDING:

A) Inform Hugh Jackman the wedding had a no-shirts policy

B) Buy cold beer for the paparazzi outside Kidman's apartment

C) Let Naomi Watts bring the ape

D) Tell the bartender to cut Russell Crowe off at two drinks

ANSWERS: 1) A, 2) A, 3) B

With reporting by Reported by Adam Pitluk