Ask Francine

By Francine Russo

Dear Francine,

After 15 years together, my male partner and I are just friends, but I love him dearly. I feel he's given me the best years of his youth, and I have left everything to him in a will. I want to avoid probate, but our condo, worth about $350,000, is in my name. I don't want to add him, as I am afraid that if our lives go in different directions, he will force me to sell. I'm 59, four years from retirement and plan to sell and move to a smaller house in New Mexico. He is 20 years younger and may not move with me. I feel he has plenty of time to plan for his retirement. Without putting him on the deed, how can I pass the house, personal property and 401(k) on to him and avoid probate? Am I being too selfish? --Jon T., Salinas, Calif.

Dear Jon,

Selfish? No way. You're not that old, and life is unpredictable.

You could well live for decades longer, and--like other boomers--you may find retirement boring. Maybe you'll surprise yourself: buy a horse, scale mountains, collect rare butterflies--all pursuits that require money in addition to what you'll need just to live. Not only that, if you do fall seriously ill, you'll want the best medical care you can afford. Still, you are absolutely right to shun probate in California: it costs your heirs a bundle. But if you leave your partner your house and money in a will, probate is just what you'll get, say California attorneys. Michael Gilfix, a Palo Alto, Calif., estate-planning and elder-law attorney, recommends putting everything you own (except your 401(k), which goes directly to the beneficiary you name) into a revocable trust. You name your partner as your successor trustee. Then as long as you live, you manage the trust--buy, sell, whatever--just as you would anyway. If you become incapacitated, your partner manages the trust for you until you die, at which point it all passes to him. To set this up, you can download a form from the Internet for a few bucks, but it might be wiser to pay the $800 to $2,000 an attorney will charge you. Whatever the cost, these fees will be far less than the $10,000 or more your estate will bleed in probate. Best of all, you can change your mind. Suppose you find another companion? Or your friend does--and also finds himself more comfortably situated? You can modify or alter the trust at any time. So don't put his name on the deed to your condo. For yourself and for him, do the following: buy your new home and stay healthy. Then your friend will get the most you can give--and you will not suffer in the giving. --By Francine Russo

To ask Francine a question, please e-mail her at askfrancinetime@ aol.com

CORRECTION: In the April 25 issue, licensed investigator Ann Flaherty of the R.D.D. Detective Agency was misidentified as Ann Rafferty.