Punchlines

"You know what's amazing about being in the same room with Michael Jackson? In person, he looks almost lifelike." --JAY LENO

"To show his energy bill is about more than drilling for oil in Alaska, President Bush visited a plant in Virginia that turns soybeans into a clean-burning diesel fuel--which the President hopes will one day be used to power oil-drilling machines in Alaska." --TINA FEY, on Saturday Night Live

"Star Wars took in $158 million in just four days. Yeah, that's more than some gas stations." --DAVID LETTERMAN