About-Face

By Andrea Sachs

Some stay-at-home mothers plan to return to work when their children reach a certain age. Others are thrust into the workplace by financial need. For Going Back to Work: A Survival Guide for Comeback Moms, authors Mary Quigley and Loretta Kaufman surveyed 1,000 women about the transition from mom to wage earner. TIME spoke with them about their findings:

Is there bias against hiring women who have been out of the work force for many years? QUIGLEY: Absolutely. Potential employers are afraid that they won't show up, that if they have a child-care crisis or illness, they won't come into work, that they've been out of touch with their field.

What's the best way to handle a large gap in one's resume? Should the time at home be listed? QUIGLEY: Yes! You can't avoid it. The big way to avoid a gap in a resume is to do something while you're out that you can put in that space: carefully selected volunteer work, going back to school or what some people disparagingly call "a little part-time job."

What matters most to mothers returning to work? KAUFMAN: Getting time off, getting flexible schedules. Not just asking a boss for an afternoon here or there, but having regular flexibility. Women who made the decision to stay home don't want to abandon their lifestyle and go back to 40 or 60 hours a week.

Do they get a fair shake when it comes to salaries? QUIGLEY: I think you have to negotiate carefully. You can be taken advantage of. The key here is to find out what salary ranges are and ask What is the range for this job? Then say, I want that range.

What kind of work path do most returning mothers take? QUIGLEY: It's a progression. You go back, and you may cut back at some point, if a parent becomes ill or whatever. Then you gear up when your kids go off to college. So there is a lot of zigging and zagging. It's just not a straight line, as it is with men.

You write about the benefits of job sharing or flextime. But aren't these arrangements rare in the real world? KAUFMAN: Institutional change has not happened. But it's done quietly under the radar at lots of places. People go in and make their own deals.

What if the job doesn't seem worth it, moneywise, when you factor in a baby sitter? QUIGLEY: It may not be. But it can be an investment in something that you hope will grow, even if you don't get an immediate return on it.

Is self-confidence a problem for a lot of women trying to re-enter the work force?

QUIGLEY: Yes, I think it is. As somebody said to us, "Can I still play with the big boys?" There's no other way to find out except to go out there and do it. That's why we're big believers in a part-time job. You see that you can do it: you can handle a sick patient, you can handle a cranky client. Then you can expand to full time.

What changes at home can a returning mother anticipate? KAUFMAN: It's important to understand that things may not be as perfect as they were before in terms of the household. The laundry may not be done when you want it to be done. The house is not going to be spotlessly clean. The sooner you adjust, the easier it will be, and it will make your away-from-home job easier.

What if your husband is against your going to work? QUIGLEY: We did meet people like this. One woman bit the bullet and went back, and her husband wasn't happy. When she started doing well financially, he changed his tune. Generally, women said that their families were supportive.