Earthly Idol

By Rebecca Winters

The winner of last week's World Idol competition, gap-toothed Norwegian KURT NILSEN, proved that international fans will forgive a mediocre mug. "You have the voice of an angel and the face of a Hobbit," the Australian judge told Nilsen. "If they had Middle-earth Idol, you'd be it." Still, Nilsen beat out American Idol's Kelly Clarkson and nine others. We assume American Idol washout Justin Guarini and the potent Scandinavian voting bloc hit the phone lines hard.