Not So Lonely Planet

By Pamela Paul

Last March, Chenoa Taitt, 29, and her boyfriend Manuel Goncalves, 28, took a trip to romantic Florence, Italy. They brought along Matt, a mutual friend and former colleague, and Bob, Taitt's roommate at the time. They also invited Stephanie, Taitt's best friend from junior high, and an-other former co-worker, TracyLynn. TracyLynn in turn asked her mother to join, as well as a friend, Charlene, who also brought her mom. Altogether, nine people departed from Illinois, New York and New Jersey to spend eight days at adjacent hotels in Florence. "It was a real mishmash of characters," Taitt says, "but everything just fell together. It turned out to be one of the best vacations I've ever had."

For Taitt, trips with friends are a way to combine vacation with camaraderie. "It maintains and even builds our friendships," she says. "This is a tradition I want to maintain. A lot of us are getting married in the next year; I want to be sure we don't grow apart." In fact, adds Taitt, who is now engaged to Goncalves, "I would take them on my honeymoon if I could!"

What might sound like a logistical nightmare and cause for a postvacation vacation is becoming a popular leisure strategy. More Americans are traveling not only with their extended families but also with groups of friends--on average, seven people total, according to a recent survey by the marketing firm Yesawich, Pepperdine, Brown & Russell (YPB&R). Fans of pack travel enjoy getting group discounts, but mostly they see it as the ultimate in multitasking: Why not catch up with friends while taking in a museum? And if you opt to skip the art, chances are there's a willing shopping companion in the group. According to a Travelocity poll, time with family and friends is the most popular way to spend a vacation: 43% of Americans intend to do so this year, compared with 28% in 2002. "The numbers of people traveling in groups of friends are overwhelming," says YPB&R managing partner Peter Yesawich. "We had no idea it was this high."

Traveling en masse was once occasioned mainly by such events as reunions or bachelor parties. Now travelers invent their own occasions, whether it's an all-girls outing, a male-bonding trip or a multifamily jaunt. Singles say they prefer to travel with pals, without the baggage of loneliness and the extra single-supplement charges for traveling alone. But even married couples cite the urge to get away with the gang. "People assume those who travel with friends are single, but that's not the case anymore," says Cathy Keefe of the Travel Industry Association of America.

Together, friends can avoid the company of strangers and create their own community on group tours or cruises. For five years, Leslie Porras, 34, and her friends from California and Arizona have taken an annual cruise off the West Coast. What began as a group of health-care co-workers has expanded to include 27 women, mostly in their 20s and 30s--married and single, mothers and not. The only rule governing the "Girl-Power Cruise" is that spouses, boyfriends, children and work stresses get left behind. "Some newcomers have asked about bringing husbands, but the answer is a resounding no," explains Porras. "It's not that anything inappropriate goes on--it's mostly about eating, sunbathing, enjoying music--but this trip is just for the girls. Many of us go an entire year without seeing the others, so we value this time for ourselves."

"Investing in a ritual of traveling together each year is a major phenomenon with young people today," says Ethan Watters, author of Urban Tribes: A Generation Redefines Friendship, Family, and Commitment (Bloomsbury; 272 pages). "These vacations create a kind of group lore and help define what those friendships are about." Watters believes that friend trips strengthen bonds, particularly when members are at different stages in their personal lives. Watters, who is 39 and recently married with a newborn, takes two annual trips with friends in their 30s and early 40s. "The group is shifting right now from single to married," Watters says. "But my tribe is such an important social force in my life that I don't want to see it disintegrate."

Tribal travelers don't necessarily see kids as an obstacle to their adventures; the tribe simply expands. Jayme Simoes, 36, and his wife Laura, 34, are planning a 10-day trip next spring to the Azores with at least two and perhaps four other couples from their hometown of Hillsborough, N.H. "We all have 2-year-olds, and it was hard to find someplace exotic and interesting but still safe for our children," Jayme explains. "Laura and I had just been to the Azores and raved about it, so our friends proposed a group trip. Our kids all get along, so why not enjoy this again together?" Also, Laura adds, "if one couple wants a romantic dinner, there will be at least two other couples who can baby-sit."

Arranging such trips isn't as effortless as it sounds. Jeff Ng, 28, is the designated ringleader for his annual male-bonding--snowboarding expedition to South America. "It's eight times the coordination of a regular trip," he says. "I'm the one who e-mails the invites, finds a flight with eight open seats and then gets everyone to pay me back for reservations made on my credit card. It's easier with the Internet, but it's still a pain." So many groups book their tickets online that travel websites have begun to catch on. Orbitz now allows groups to buy as many as nine tickets at a time, instead of the usual four to six.

Travel agents, hotels and tour operators are also embracing the trend. In October, Walt Disney World introduced Magical Gatherings, a package for multihousehold groups. Sporting-event agencies that specialize in corporate outings to the Super Bowl or the Kentucky Derby are organizing more trips for smaller groups of buddies. And a bevy of resorts and hotels are fashioning female-friendly packages. Last year the Four Seasons Hotels in Atlanta, Miami and Chicago created "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" weekends. The tres girly Chicago trip, for example, features makeovers at Neiman Marcus, tickets to the Oprah Winfrey Show and a cooking class. Fairmont Hotels' "girls-only getaways" include a PMS (Pralines, Martinis and Shopping) Package in Vancouver and a Pajama Party Getaway in Boston.

That was the idea behind Stephanie Wilkinson's recent weekend at the Mirbeau Inn & Spa in the Adirondacks with her college friends Elisabeth and Jennifer. The three traveled separately from Lexington, Va., Rochester, N.Y., and Boston, leaving a total of six children under 7 behind at home. "In our crazy, busy lives, I feel as if we have no real time with our friends," Wilkinson says. "It seems the only way to maintain a friendship is to go away with them."