People

By Lev Grossman

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND THEIR BUTTS

In an apparent bid to remedy the shortage of shrill outrage in this country, everybody has suddenly decided to get mad at actresses for smoking. At a press conference in Cannes, NICOLE KIDMAN bummed a cigarette from co-star Stellan Skarsgaard and lit up, prompting criticism from antismoking groups. Meanwhile, Fox 5 News in New York City "caught" BRITNEY SPEARS smoking at a Manhattan club; a group called Smoke Free Movies ran a full-page ad in the New York Times screeching at JULIA ROBERTS to stop smoking onscreen; and earlier this month there was a kerfuffle when snapshots of a topless CATHERINE ZETA-JONES sneaking a ciggie while pregnant surfaced on the Internet. Now, smoking may be unhealthy (yes, we know, especially for the unborn), but do we really want to live in a world where a beautiful actress can't smoke topless?

Q&A WITH JOEY FATONE

'N Sync crooner JOEY FATONE hosts Fame, an American Idol-esque talent search that starts this week on NBC:

Level with us: Clay or Ruben? I'm actually a Clay guy, believe it or not. Ruben has an amazing voice, but he's kind of like your typical Luther Vandross or Peabo Bryson. Where Clay is--I've never seen anybody like that, except for maybe Rick Astley, way back when. He's this little guy with this tremendous voice.

Have you actually seen the movie Fame? Oh, yeah! That's like the bible for me.

So what exactly is your role on the show? I'm like the Ryan Seacrest, I guess. [Laughs] I'm just gonna be myself. And hopefully not act like an idiot.

Are you going to sing? Hell no! I'll be hosting. I don't know exactly what that consists of, but I'll be hosting.

Gotcha. We'll be watching. Let me know if I suck, all right?

Will do.

MATRIX UNLOADED

LARRY WACHOWSKI, co-creator (with his brother Andy) of The Matrix, is so secretive he has a no-publicity clause in his contract with Warner Bros. But details of his personal life are starting to leak out, and oh, my. According to documents posted on the website thesmokinggun.com Wachowski's estranged wife has had his business assets frozen until he accounts for $16 million the brothers were paid for the Matrix movies. "Larry has been extremely dishonest with me in our personal life," she writes. Whoa. And at the L.A. premier of The Matrix: Reloaded, Wachowski showed up with an unusual hat, below, and a woman who was identified by London tabloids as somebody else's estranged wife, and a dominatrix to boot. No pun intended. Well, maybe we intended it a little bit.

LEBRON: HE'S A SHOE-IN

If potential were money, LeBron James would be ... hey, wait a minute, potential is money, at least in the talent-famished world of the NBA, and James is filthy, stinking rich. At 18, without having played a second of pro ball, the 6-ft. 8-in. James just signed a seven-year endorsement deal with Nike for more than $90 million. He's getting paid for wearing shoes, people. Some of us do that for free. James is expected to be the No. 1 pick in the NBA draft on June 26, which means he will probably go to the Cleveland Cavaliers--a team with no head coach, that finished last season with a record of 17-65, and whose best player is named Zydrunas Ilgauskas. On second thought, somebody call social services--this kid is underpaid.