People

By Lev Grossman

OLD PROVERB: GREAT-LOOKING MINDS THINK ALIKE

In what amounts to a game of high-stakes cinematic chicken, Leonardo DiCaprio is developing a string of projects that compete directly with similar films from some of the biggest leading men in Tinseltown. Does he have the mojo to take on the big boys?

THE PROJECTS Films about H.H. Holmes, a serial killer who stalked 19th century Chicago

THE COMPETITION Tom Cruise and director Kathryn Bigelow

AND THE WINNER IS ... Leo. When Cruise tries for creepy, you just end up with Interview with the Vampire

THE PROJECTS Biopics of eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes

THE COMPETITION Jim Carrey and Memento director Christopher Nolan

AND THE WINNER IS ... Gotta go with Leo. Who wants to watch Ace Ventura have sex with Ava Gardner?

THE PROJECTS Rival movies based on the life of Alexander the Great

THE COMPETITION Colin Farrell and Oliver Stone

AND THE WINNER IS ... Leo again. Hey, he's already played the King of the World once

THE LITTLE GIRL WHO WOULD BE ELOISE

On April 27 ABC will air Eloise at the Plaza, a live-action version of the children's books. Stepping into the title role is SOFIA VASSILIEVA: 10 years old, fluent in French and Russian and every bit the equal of her fictional alter ego.

What was your favorite part about being Eloise?

All the running around.

Was it hard to learn all those lines?

Nope. I'm very fast at memorizing things.

Do you think if you met Eloise in real life, you guys would be friends?

Totally.

But she's kind of bossy, don't you think?

She's not really bossy. She rules the Plaza like I rule the house. I mean, I don't really rule the house, but you know what I mean.

Did you get to wear cool clothes when you were Eloise?

Not really. It was usually the same outfit.

Did you get to keep it when you were done?

Well, I did a Michael Eisner [event], so I got the outfit for that, but then the Michael Eisner people got to keep the outfit. So, nope. I do have socks, though.

CUTE-DUO ALERT

To all those lovelorn Gen Xers who've been waiting for geek-hunk actor JOHN CUSACK to show up outside their windows with a boom box: he's not coming. Cusack is dating MEG RYAN, whom he first met when the two stars lent their voice talents to Disney's cartoon epic Anastasia. Which is somehow appropriate, given that Cusack and Ryan, who is five years older, form what may be the cutest couple the human species has ever produced. Seriously, if they ever have a kid, it's gonna come out a Care Bear. The two are notorious for dating their co-stars--she has been linked with Russell Crowe (Proof of Life), he with Minnie Driver (Grosse Pointe Blank)--but here is something romantic: when they got together, Cusack gave up his last remaining shred of indie credibility. It must be love.

TAKE ME OUT TO THE WAR GAMES

The Baseball Hall of Fame has canceled a celebration in honor of the 15th anniversary of the movie Bull Durham. Hall of Fame president Dale Petroskey doesn't like the way Durham stars SUSAN SARANDON and TIM ROBBINS have been speaking out against the war in Iraq. Petroskey wrote to the two that their "very public criticism of President Bush at this important--and sensitive--time in our nation's history ... could put our troops in even more danger." Robbins shot back in his own letter, "You belong with the cowards and ideologues in a hall of infamy and shame." Well, the Hall of Fame could always settle for Kevin Costner. He's a Republican, and he's probably free that night.