If At First You Don't Succeed...

By Michele Orecklin

The divorce rate in the U.S. peaked in 1981. Now the kids of that generation have reached prime marrying age. How have their feelings toward marriage--and behavior within it--been shaped by their experience? A new book says at least one repercussion is a phenomenon known as the "starter marriage," a union between those in their 20s and early 30s who marry for five years or less and divorce without having kids. Author Pamela Paul, whose first marriage failed within a year, is a little short on hard evidence, since no statistics exist on the topic. She based her conclusions on interviews with 60 couples who have experienced short-lived unions, as well as polls of young people's attitudes toward marriage. Even those whose parents stayed together, she contends, were affected by the upheaval in families around them. "Now they're searching for the stability they lacked by having their own families," says Paul. What they often discover is that they are seeking something unattainable. But unlike their parents, these couples are apt to delay having children. When the time comes to start a family, they take a look at their marriage; if it doesn't seem right, they just end it.

--By Michele Orecklin