People

By Ellin Martens

ARDENT PURSUIT OF THE FRESHMAN

Maybe the royals are mortals like the rest of us. For instance, you know how you get when crazy Uncle Ed keeps shoving his camcorder in your face? PRINCE WILLIAM, 19, feels your chagrin. During his first week at St. Andrews University in Scotland, a camera crew was twice spotted breaking strict privacy rules imposed by Buckingham Palace for the heir to the heir to the throne. After the cameramen were thrown off campus, Wills called his father to complain. An "incandescent" Prince Charles, the London papers report, was even angrier when he learned the crew worked for Ardent Productions, owned by Wills' uncle--and Charles' younger brother--Prince Edward. Edward apologized, assuring Charles that the Ardent stalking of his nephew would stop. Then the crew was spotted trying to interview students outside a university dorm--forcing Charles to make a call himself. No word if Charles had to run to Mother.

LEGEND OF THE FALL

Cats have nine lives. So why shouldn't MICHAEL JORDAN, coolest cat ever to play for the NBA, make another comeback? After slyly toying with fans and the cash-strapped league, His Airness has signed a two-year contract with his Washington Wizards. This is probably the first time in the history of the NBA that the temporary resignation of a part owner and director of basketball operations has caused a run on season tickets. The questions abound: Can he play? Can he play well enough to lift a team that has made the play-offs exactly once in the past 13 years? What effect will 82 games on wooden floors have on his 38-year-old knees? And finally, why? Jordan insists he's doing it for the love of the game. Maybe so: he has promised to donate his entire first-season salary to Sept. 11 relief efforts. As for Wizard fans, they're looking forward to the twosome of the tongue-wagging geezer Jordan and young Kwame Brown, the NBA's No. 1 draft pick. Does M.J. think Kwame can be like Mike? For now, cat's got his tongue.

What More Can He Give Again?

After the Sept. 11 attacks, MICHAEL JACKSON announced he was cobbling together an all-star ensemble to record his new song What More Can I Give? He hoped, he said, to raise $50 million for the victims and survivors. This idea had a familiar ring to it. In April 1999 Jackson promised to raise millions for the Albanian children of Kosovo with the proceeds from his new song...What More Can I Give? But Jacko never recorded the song, nor did he perform it at two What More Can I Give? benefit concerts performed in Seoul and Munich in 1999, which raised a few million for big international charities. Executive producer Marc Schaffel says the Gloved One has just rewritten the song and recorded tracks with everyone from Beyonce to Reba McEntire. It had better be released soon; Jackson might meet someone else he wants to give the proceeds to.

AND GOD BLESS MISS AMERICA

Britons keep a stiff upper lip in the face of tough times. Americans show resolve with stiff upswept hair. Fifty-one young women spat in the eye of terrorism by taking the beaches and runway at Atlantic City for the 82nd annual Miss America pageant. The winner, KATIE HARMAN, 21, the first titleholder from Oregon, made the usual post-coronation photo-ops, offering her hand to David Letterman on the Late Show, and one unusual stop: ground zero. As one of her platform issues, she explained, "I want to take part in the healing." In hard hat and ponytail, she popped out of a golf cart to greet rescue workers. Some seemed a bit startled, but a few proposed sharing the love with a muddy "C'mere, honey!" hug. She gave them the all-American Heisman stiff-arm. Not that kind of healing, boys.