People

By Josh Tyrangiel

I'D PAY $2,500 JUST FOR BRANDO

MICHAEL JACKSON's 30th Anniversary Celebration, the Solo Years--a two-night, self-thrown tribute to be held at Madison Square Garden in September--is bound to be a cornucopia of good taste. Liza Minnelli will perform You Are Not Alone with a 300-voice gospel choir; Marlon Brando will make a rare live non-nude appearance; and the JACKSON 5--older and stiffer but surely just as cute--will reunite. Indeed, five Jacksons will reunite--but not all are original. Citing "the exorbitant prices being charged" for the event, Jermaine Jackson is a conscientious objector. Jermaine claimed that the $2,500 top ticket price and the lack of a charity associated with the event, also bothered brothers Marlon and Randy. But Marlon, an original Jackson 5 member, and Randy, a mere Jacksons member, say they will perform. "I am very sorry for the confusion Jermaine has caused," said Marlon. Janet, the smartest Jackson, has a prior commitment.

Mariah Tires

MARIAH CAREY checked into a New York City hospital last week with symptoms of extreme exhaustion, but not before a bit of public befuddlement. "I just can't trust anybody anymore right now because I don't understand what's going on," she wrote on her official fan website. "I'm desperately trying to get out of this room, and I don't know if that makes any sense to anybody...If anybody gets this that really cares, just do me a favor...close the management company down that I own, and I'm gonna lie here and wait for that to happen." The singer recently worked on two films--Glitter and WiseGirls--while recording the Glitter sound track, her first album in a $23.5 million-an-album deal with Virgin. Her accountant is apparently feeling fine.

MEET WINGS' NEW KEYBOARDIST

Ringo Starr has put out a new box set, George Harrison is alive and kicking, and PAUL MCCARTNEY is engaged--all in all a fine week for former Beatles. McCartney, 59, proposed to model and anti-land mine advocate HEATHER MILLS, 33, while vacationing in Britain's Lake District. She accepted; the couple will marry next year. "They would like to thank their relatives and friends for all the great support they have shown them since they met two years ago," said a McCartney spokesman, who added that McCartney proposed on one knee with a diamond-and-sapphire ring bought in India. McCartney and Mills endured a few rough years before meeting. He admitted he contemplated suicide following wife Linda's death from breast cancer in 1998; Mills was in a freak motorcycle accident that took her leg in 1993. Together they have overcome an age difference almost vast enough to impress Robert Evans.

SPORTS AND SEX MIX. WHO KNEW?

Not since Wilt Chamberlain's memoir came out have we had such a vivid glimpse of pro-athlete romping. And this time it's under oath. Lawyers called on NBA superstar PATRICK EWING and Atlanta Braves outfielder Andruw Jones to testify in Atlanta's Gold Club racketeering case. Prosecutors allege that Gold Club manager Steve Kaplan encouraged his exotic dancers to engage in free sex acts with pro athletes to attract them to the club. When sports fans followed, they were charged exorbitant prices, with profits funneled to the Gambino crime family. We'll see if prosecutors can prove the Gambino thing, but Ewing and Jones testified that they definitely received frisky freebies and that Kaplan watched the action from the bleachers. Neither athlete was charged with a crime, but the all-star parade isn't over. Denver Bronco Terrell Davis and NBA-er John Starks may also testify. And yes, shockingly, Dennis Rodman too.