News Quiz

By Melissa August, Beau Briese, Rhett Butler, Kathryn Hoffman, Ellin Martens, Sora Song, Heather Won Tesoriero, Kadesha Thomas, Josh Tyrangiel

1. Islamic officials asked Iranian President Khatami to stop his supporters from:

a) wearing "Ayatollah of "Rocknrolla" T shirts b) dancing with members of the opposite sex c) returning videos without rewinding d) praying for Jabez

2. Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell and Rep. Jim Ryun are:

a) eager to test the new patients' bill of rights b) celebrating Olympic Day c) celebrating National Latent Homoeroticism Day d) negotiating tax cuts the ol' Aaron Burr way

3. The Sara Lee Corp. pleaded guilty to:

a) illegal use of a double negative in "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee" slogan b) selling tainted meat c) spreading "Poppin' Fresh is soylent green" smear campaign d) bundt possession

4. The mayor of Toronto may have hurt his city's Olympics bid by:

a) joking about African cannibals b) offering the I.O.C. bribes in worthless Canadian money c) naming potential mascot Toront-Onan d) admitting "We're no Winnipeg, but..."

5. The Atlanta Braves traded John Rocker:

a) for a good ol' boy and two crackers to be named later b) to take a strong, retrospective stand against racism c) to the Cleveland Indians

ANSWERS: 1-b, 2-b, 3-b, 4-a, 5-c