Alone, With Kids

By Eugenie Allen

My summer-vacation nightmare: I'm seven months pregnant, trapped on a long-distance train with my two little girls and too little air-conditioning. My husband can't join us, so I'm the girls' sole protector and supplier of food, drinks and entertainment. For eight hours straight, I'm too worried about a kidnapping at one of the train's many stops even to go to the bathroom by myself or doze off for a bit.

This really happened to me a few years ago, but since then I've learned that there are smarter ways to travel solo with children.

1. Forget spontaneity. Had I planned ahead, I could have upgraded our Amtrak trip with a private sleeping compartment. When it comes to hotels, Brian Beihl, a father of three and president of the travel-products company Family on Board, recommends paying extra for a real one--the kind that helps with luggage.

2. Consider going with a group, especially if you're a single parent. Sharyn Saffan, owner of Quality Time Travel, makes this pitch: "We negotiate single-parent rates, we choose cruises and resorts with excellent kids' programs, we take over a wing of the facility, and everybody's happy. The parents have adult conversations, and the kids meet other kids."

3. If you are going abroad, take along a permission slip. Amid growing concern over child-custody disputes, many countries (including Mexico and Canada) now require kids traveling with one parent to have a notarized permission letter signed by the other parent. Some countries (again, including Mexico) demand even more documentation. Check entry requirements with your destination country's embassy or consulate.

4. Slow down. When you're far from home without another adult to spell you, taking your time is safer--and sometimes more fun--than rushing to your destination. New Yorker Mary Farrell, a single mom, says her seven- and 10-year-old sons still remember the rest stop they took on their way to Vermont a couple of years ago. They spent two hours by a stream, throwing rocks and watching caterpillars.

5. Play it safe. If something happens to you, your child could be in trouble too, so consider informing hotel staff members that you're the only adult in your party. Make sure your child carries some kind of ID. Your business card with emergency contact numbers scribbled on it will suffice. Tuck it into your child's pocket or shoe so strangers can't see her name.

6. Help the kids help themselves. For each day of vacation, parents need to pack about a week's worth of books on tape, junky toys and self-serve snacks. Who carries all the excess baggage? Kyle McCarthy, editor of the newsletter Family Travel Forum, says that's what kids are for. I have since purchased a rolling suitcase for each of mine.

7. Help the kids help you. Beihl designates a backseat co-pilot to read maps, play those books on tape and retrieve siblings' dropped toys and snacks from the minivan floor. And here's a tip I dreamed up myself. Since dialing and driving don't mix, teach your kids to use the cell phone. That way they can call Amtrak to reserve a sleeper for your next trip.

Visit singleparenttravel.net or loneparent.com for more information, or subscribe to familytravelforum.com