News Quiz

By Kathleen Adams, Melissa August, Randy Hartwell, Ellin Martens, Sora Song and Joel Stein

1. During L.A.'s rolling blackout:

a) the studio audience of The Fighting Fitzgeralds snuck out b) the L.A.P.D. beat up motorists with Day-Glo nightsticks c) someone groped Jerry Stiller d) cars crashed

2. This picture demonstrates:

a) How long it takes trends to reach Ostrich City b) Ostrich-pecking prevention c) Kraft's Easy-Open Ostrich[TM] d) That ostriches bury their heads in piles of pacifiers

3. Federal agents seized a second flock of Vermont sheep because:

a) They still couldn't sleep after counting the first flock b) Sheep may have mad-cow disease c) Horses too heavy d) They had extra mint jelly

4. Boeing is leaving Seattle because:

a) 747s have no will to fly since A-Rod left b) It can now get Starbucks anywhere c) It wants to de-centralize business d) Seattle doesn't bring Boeing flowers anymore

5. The 2002 Winter Olympics will feature as a demonstration sport:

a) Bridge b) Cuddling c) Team bribery d) Polygamy

ANSWERS: 1-d, 2-b, 3-b, 4-c, 5-a