People

By Josh Tyrangiel

DON'T GIVE THE OSMONDS ANY IDEAS

Sequined jump suits, frayed vests and a receptive public passed them by long ago, but THE JACKSONS have decided to strike while they can still lift the iron, announcing plans for a third reunion album. Tito, Marlon and Jackie didn't need much convincing, and by the time Jermaine spread the news on a Las Vegas radio station, a publicist had confirmed that Michael would join in for a few songs as well, though he won't commit to a tour. In addition to finishing a solo album, Michael has a self-help career aborning. On Valentine's Day, the twice-divorced singer will host a panel discussion about modern family life, with proceeds going to his Heal the Children foundation. Panelists include Johnnie Cochran, Chuck Woolery and radio sex therapist Dr. Drew Pinsky. One hopes the kids can heal themselves.

SHE'S ALREADY GOT THE TIARA

The Special Relationship just got a little more special. LAUREN BUSH, teen model and niece of President-elect George W. Bush, and PRINCE WILLIAM of England, teen heartthrob and heir to the throne, are reportedly engaged in the hottest epistolary relationship since Heloise and Abelard, or at least since Larry Hagman and Linda Gray toured in Love Letters. According to British tabloids, Bush, 16, fired the first shot two years ago by leaving a photo of herself on a yacht where William was due to holiday. Will, clever boy, tracked down Lauren's address and sent her a photo of himself. Soon words were exchanged via letter and e-mail, and reportedly, the e-mails were hot. Cinemax hot. The two have never actually met, though they could soon, as William may spend some of his gap year between high school and college in New York City, apprenticing in the world of fine art and antiques and perhaps learning a thing or two about the fine New York tradition of dating models.

BECKETT WOULD LOVE IT

What is IT? We do not yet know. All we do know is that IT also goes by the code name Ginger, IT has amazed Jeff Bezos and Steve Jobs, IT has created huge online buzz, and a book proposal about IT netted a $250,000 advance from Harvard Business School Press, though reportedly the publisher has no idea what the book will be about. IT was invented by DEAN KAMEN, a recipient of the National Medal of Technology and inventor of a wheelchair that can climb stairs. Kamen is the subject of an upcoming book by journalist Steve Kemper; the book's proposal, first reported last week by Inside.com reveals that Kamen's newest invention has grizzled venture capitalists predicting Kamen will eclipse Bill Gates in wealth when IT debuts in 2002. Lives will be dramatically altered. Some speculate that IT is some kind of revolutionary scooter. Kamen won't say, though the proposal claims IT is "an alternative to products that are dirty, expensive, sometimes dangerous and often frustrating, especially for people in cities." Obviously, IT is a New York City apartment.

"THE BASKETBRAWL"

SHAQUILLE "THE BIG EVERYTHING" O'NEAL AGE: 28 HEIGHT: 7 ft. 1 in. WEIGHT: 315 lbs. OCCUPATION: Frightening large men, missing free throws BEST PUNCH: Claims Kobe hurts his team by shooting too much: "When people said this was my team, we went 67-15, and we won the whole thing... I don't know why anybody would want to change that, other than for selfish reasons"

REFEREE PHIL JACKSON "I don't even want them in the same room together right now."

KOBE "BELLISIMO" BRYANT AGE: 22 HEIGHT: 6 ft. 7 in. WEIGHT: 210 lbs. OCCUPATION: Jordan heir, fly in the ointment BEST PUNCH: Upon the suggestion that he should consider deferring to Shaq: "Turn my game down? I need to turn it up. I've improved. How are you going to bottle me up? I'd be better off playing somewhere else"

WINNER: Shaq. If things get rough, he can pick Kobe up by the ears and eat him