Monday, Aug. 28, 2000
All More Electable Than Pat Buchanan
By Melissa August, Matthew Cooper, Rachel Dry, Daren Fonda, Ellin Martens, Benjamin Nugent, Julie Rawe and Josh Tyrangiel
Further proving that the difference between a presidential campaign and marketing, say, jeans is very slight, lots of companies are running their own creations as third-party candidates this year to garner publicity. After all, as Al Gore and George W. Bush have demonstrated, being realistic is not a prerequisite.
THE DOLL RACE
CANDIDATE 1 Vanessa PROS Will get the minority vote CONS Low name recognition
[CANDIDATE] 2 Barbie [PROS] Malibu Barbie will help her carry California [CONS] Not married to longtime boyfriend; raises family-values issue
THE COMIC-BOOK RACE
[CANDIDATE] 3 Duke [PROS] Past experience as Ambassador to China [CONS] Well-documented history of drug use [CANDIDATE] 4 Lex Luthor [PROS] Keen understanding of world domination [CONS] Killed his own parents THE AD-MASCOT RACE
[CANDIDATE] 5 Buddy Lee* [PROS] Casual dress implies D.C. outsider status [CONS] Only 13 inches tall [CANDIDATE] 6 Captain Morgan [PROS] Running mate Playboy playmate Kalin Olson helps secure male vote [CONS] Frequently spotted in taverns *Buddy Lee's is a write-in campaign and is not endorsed by the Lee Jeans Company. Buddy was unavailable for comment