Jason Alexander

By Joel Stein

Jason Alexander is appearing in the film The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and in the play Defiled in Los Angeles.

Q: Have you met Seinfeld's wife?

A: Yes, I have.

Q: She seems real stable.

A: Let me get this straight. You'd like me to take a loaded weapon, put it in my own mouth and dance the hora just to see if it goes off?

Q: Just making sure you owe him for life. Now, you act, sing, dance and bend spoons with your mind. Have you made some kind of pact with the devil?

A: No. I have merely made a pact with the William Morris Agency.

Q: As a kid, you took tap-dancing lessons four towns away. Was four towns enough?

A: I am happy to report it was.

Q: Why is DeNiro involved in this Bullwinkle movie?

A: I thought it odd myself. People went, "Hey, you're working with DeNiro!" and I said, "Yep." Any other movie, I'd be really excited about it. But I hear really good things about it.

Q: How was he?

A: He's shy to the point of being dysfunctional. It took 2 1/2 weeks to realize the easiest path was to goof on him.

Q: Yeah, that's a good call.

A: I got the idea from Billy Crystal.

Q: Crystal was trying to get you beat up.

A: I don't doubt that.

Q: Remember when God told Rene Russo to take off her clothes in that Pierce Brosnan movie The Thomas Crown Affair?

A: I went to see that movie, and I left her a message praising her choices and her talent, and my last line was, "By the way, great t___." And she called back and said, "Horses___ with all the other stuff. Thank you for liking my breasts."

Q: Did you try to trick her at all by piping sound into her dressing room telling her to take off her clothes?

A: No. I just asked her blatantly.

--By Joel Stein