Need Anything?

By Melissa August, Val Castronovo, Matthew Cooper, Daren Fonda, Benjamin Nugent, Julie Rawe, Douglas Root, Alain Sanders and Josh Tyrangiel

The cotton gin and the automobile were inventions that heralded a new age. What then, does the arrival of the Solarscreen System--which uses special tanning panels to create the illusion of tight abs--foretell? It was among the products introduced last week in Pittsburgh at INPEX, which bills itself as the world's largest invention exposition. This, it seems, is where they come up with those things.

WISER VISER--Attaches with Velcro to any set of glasses for extra sun protection. Say goodbye, hat head, hello, fellow Century Villagers

TIS-SHIELD--A tissue heat-sealed to a plastic sheet covers the hand to prevent unseemly blow-throughs and germ exposure

MAKEUP EYEGLASSES--For those with serious vision problems, the patented "double pivot adjustable nosepiece" allows for simultaneous cosmetic application and spectacle use

TV PEDALER--For couch-inclined kiddies, a set of pedals that connects to the TV. An electrical current flows only when the pedals are moved at a set speed

SUNLESS DRIVING SHIELD--No more unsightly trucker's arm with this stand-alone driver's sleeve

TIME YOUR WATER--Drinking eight glasses of water a day is easier with this water bottle-attachable device which, its press release notes, "eliminates the annoyance of glancing at one's watch frequently"