1999 Winners & Losers

By Val Castronovo, Tam Gray, Daniel Levy, Ellin Martens, Michele Orecklin, Alice Park, Julie Rawe, Chris Taylor, Owen Thomas and Josh Tyrangiel

[WINNERS]

BILL CLINTON Survives impeachment, wins (sorta) in Kosovo, still (pretty) popular. You the (Alpha) man!

LAURYN HILL Miseducation? Ha. 'Twas a five-Grammy year. Make album No. 2 good or you're '90s Carole King

LANCE ARMSTRONG Spandex surprise: overcomes testicular cancer, churlish sponsors--except Postal Service--to win Tour de France

J.K. ROWLING Harry Potter creator gets kids to bag TV, Nintendo for (!!) reading. And without a Happy Meal tie-in!

GEORGE W. BUSH Compassion Boy has stumbled. But any year you raise $60 mil and get in front ain't all bad

BRANDI CHASTAIN The Bra that Shook the World. Soccer stunt was hit, but don't try it on any (eek!) senior tour

RICKY MARTIN Livin' large, amigo. Will his vida be more enduring than the Macarena? Those hips help

POKEMON Annoying Japanese critters stole kids' hearts--just as we were warming to Beanie Babies

INVESTORS The '90s make '80s look like '30s. Who cares if it's all tech-driven frenzy? W&L is going public

REGIS PHILBIN Turns 65, and Millionaire is hot hit. Time to lose faux-margarine ads

[LOSERS]

SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC Then: kicks Albanians out of Kosovo. Now: Serbs out of Kosovo, land in ruins. Nice job

AL GORE Year begins with big lead, ends with you as punchline. Lose Naomi, embrace inner geek

HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON Senate campaign off to shaky start. But Rudy's a hothead, and '00 might be your year

KEN STARR Want "facts"? Clinton and Susan McDougal got off; Tripp's on trial. Shoulda done Pepperdine

WOODSTOCK '99 '99 version of boomer event was, like, so messed up, dude. Next, Lilith Fair PMS riots?

BILL GATES Judge sez he's predatory monopolist. Hit ESC, cop a plea and finish cleaning Windows

WEN HO LEE Arrested after year of FBI in rearview mirror. Guilty or not, shoulda been a tad more careful with floppies

BORIS YELTSIN Economy? Chaos. Chechnya? Quagmire. Popular? Nyet. Get yourself to an A.A. meeting and a sponsor

DAN GOLDIN NASA boss sees Mars probes screw up. Time to put Pikachu in space?

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. Gets jail time for drug mayhem. Can't green-light you, kid, but Gandhi did best work in prison