Jonathan Winters

By Joel Stein

Jonathan Winters won the Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for Humor.

Q. Did you know Mark Twain?

A. I knew him when he had black hair and no mustache. He was standing by the banks of the Mississippi, eating a Dove bar.

Q. They just invented this award last year. Do we really need another award for entertainers?

A. For me, yes. After this year, I don't care.

Q. You think stealing your Maude Frickert character for his Aunt Blabby will keep Johnny Carson from ever winning the award?

A. I hope so. I hope so.

Q. You think you would have got the award if you hadn't been Mork's son?

A. Robin Williams is a nice guy, despite the fact that he gets $20 million a picture. He always sends me a million. Of course, it's not deductible. So I wind up with about $3,800.

Q. Could you do America a favor and call Williams and tell him to do less sappy and more wacky?

A. Yes, I will. It's hard to get hold of him. He's either in the bank or on the way to the bank. He's been married five or six times. I think those guys do have more fun. I've been married for 51 years, and I wear her clothes now, and she wears mine.

Q. I know you've been happily married for 51 years, but you can't tell me that you weren't tempted during any of those appearances on Hee Haw.

A. Yes. I don't think they were great intellectual ladies, but fun for sitting with in a bathtub and listening to a ball game.

Q. As the voice of Papa Smurf, how did you play up the sexual tension between him and Smurfette?

A. I never thought of it that way, but it came off that way, didn't it? You know, I didn't do it for the money; I did it for the role.

--By Joel Stein