People

By Michele Orecklin

AIR'S NOT THERE

Maybe Michael Jordan wouldn't have retired if he had known it would come to this. Six years after his eponymous restaurant opened in Chicago, it is being renamed, and redesigned, to honor the city's latest athletic hero, Cubs player SAMMY SOSA. The restaurant's owners (Jordan is not among them) claim business has abated since the former MVP is no longer on the court and only rarely at a table. New figurehead Sosa has agreed to dine regularly on the premises, which when they are officially rechristened next year, will feature Caribbean cuisine and a statue of the home-run hitter where once a Jordan mural reigned. The restaurant's owners are not cutting Jordan from the team completely. They plan to open a smaller venue with his name. Unless perhaps someone on the Bears does really well this year.

A VIXEN IS SORT OF LIKE A WITCH

On TV, MELISSA JOAN HART is Sabrina the Teenage Witch, yet in reality, she is neither possessed of occult powers nor even under 20. So perhaps it's not surprising that while her wholesome show is being lauded by conservative groups, Hart is busy trumpeting her carnal charms. Two weeks ago, Sabrina was honored by the Family Friendly Programming Forum and recently deemed worthy by the Parent's Television Council. Yet currently, Hart appears in Maxim modeling unwholesome ensembles and in Bikini magazine enthusing, "I like to be as naked as possible." Maybe not for families, but she sure seems friendly. ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

WHO: Diana Ross

OFFENSE: Set off a metal detector at a London airport, prompting a guard to frisk her by hand. Ross says the guard touched her breast, so she responded in kind. Ross was taken to jail but later released.

WHY THIS IS NOT SURPRISING: She is reputedly a diva; she hangs with Michael Jackson, who hates being touched; she grabbed rapper Lil' Kim's breast at the MTV Video Music Awards.

GIVING MOTHER A BAD RAP

Rather than a card for Mother's Day, Debbie Mathers-Briggs is angling for cold, hard cash. The mother of rapper EMINEM (ne Marshall Bruce Mathers III) has filed a $10 million suit against her son for what she claims are his unflattering, and all-too-public, assessments of her maternal skills. On his best-selling single My Name Is, Eminem raps "Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to/ I just found out my mom does more dope than I do." Lest one think he was merely trying to rhyme, he also described his mother in several national magazines as a lawsuit-happy, welfare-relying-on drug abuser. Mathers-Briggs' lawyer claims that his client never engaged in illegal activities and that the rapper is merely trying to beef up his street cred; the rapper's attorney says his client speaks the truth. Maybe instead of lawyers, the two would be better off retaining therapists.