Notebook

By Melissa August, Harriet Barovick, Autumn DeLeon, Michelle Derrow, Aisha Durham, Tam Gray, Daniel Levy, Michele Orecklin and Chris Taylor

WINNERS & LOSERS

[WINNERS]

DENNIS HASTERT Speaker avoids Newtering--quells mutiny, passes $792 billion tax cut. Must have been '80s night

KATHLEEN ANN SOLIAH Fugitive turned housewife and actress makes bail. Now her plays' press seats will be full!

EILEEN COLLINS Becomes first woman to head a U.S. space flight. Will conserve energy by asking for directions

[& LOSERS]

NEWT GINGRICH He and second wife separate. Freebie personal ad: stocky SWM seeks family-valued F, no Dems

MIKE BARNICLE In a column he chides media for J.F.K. Jr. voyeurism, but then is all over television himself

RICHIE PHILLIPS Umps say their attorney is "too confrontational"--this from guys used to being spat on