People

By Michele Orecklin

A MAN FOR ALL CABINET POSTS

Last week NBC announced that veteran actor MARTIN SHEEN will star as a fictional President in The West Wing, a series to debut next fall. This will not be Sheen's first trip to the Oval Office. In fact, over the course of his career, he has frequently traipsed through the halls of power (including a tour in the Armed Forces as General Robert E. Lee in the 1993 film Gettysburg). Anxious as we are for The West Wing, we're still waiting to see what Sheen could do with a sensitively written role for one of Washington's real power positions, like, say, Secretary of Transportation.

DIDN'T SHE READ HEMINGWAY?

You may want to sit down for this: it turns out bullfighting is a sexist sport. Last week CRISTINA SANCHEZ, 27, the world's premier female matador, retired, saying she was no longer willing or able to battle the machismo of her male colleagues. A professional since 1996, Sanchez last year became the first woman to perform in Spain's hallowed Las Ventas ring, a triumphal appearance in which she proved she could sever a bull's ear with the best of them. Since then, however, Sanchez says her male counterparts have effectively blackballed her from choice venues. "The bullfighting world is made by and for men," she said, "but I still have the pride that I've made history." And she'll have the severed ears to prove it.

FEUD OF THE WEEK

NAME: Michael ("Do not call me Roger") Moore OCCUPATION: cranky documentarian AGE: 45 BEST PUNCH: Angered by Goldberg's lack of respect for "the privacy rights of others," trained a camera on her apartment windows and beamed the live pictures onto the Internet

NAME: Lucianne ("Do not call me Rube") Goldberg OCCUPATION: cranky book agent AGE: 63 BEST PUNCH: Mindful of Moore's hatred of tabloids, Goldberg deflected the camera's view by posting large signs over both her windows reading "I Love the National Enquirer

WINNER: GOLDBERG! GRANTS HERSELF IMMUNITY FROM NATIONAL ENQUIRER SCRUTINY

YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD A BAD DAY

The man chasing frenetic actor ANDY DICK down an L.A. street last week was not looking for an autograph. After Dick crashed his car into a utility pole and fled the scene, a civic-minded bystander chased, caught and restrained him until police arrived. Dick was later charged with driving under the influence and possession of marijuana and cocaine. The arrest came hours after NBC announced it would not renew Dick's series NewsRadio and capped a troubled season for the comedian who can charitably be called eccentric. After a stint in a rehab clinic last year, Dick was threatened with arrest for allegedly exposing himself during a performance at the University of North Florida in Jacksonville. In March he partied with actor David Strickland hours before Strickland killed himself. Dick's reps say he will enter rehab again this week.