Reproductive Services

By Melissa August, Harriet Barovick, Tim Blair, Tam Gray, Lina Lofaro, Eric Silver, David Spitz, Joel Stein, Flora Tartakovsky and Chris Taylor

AND BABY MAKES 2000 Couples hoping to have the first baby of the new millennium will have to get busy on April 9, the most promising conception date. Although he or she is no more than a note in someone's diary now, we already know much about the millennial baby. As a Capricorn, the infant is allegedly fated to be practical, ambitious and fatalistic. International time zones dictate that junior will quite probably be a New Zealander, Fijian or Russian. Or, of course, someone visiting those countries in order to have the millennium's first baby.

COUNTRY NEW ZEALAND

LIFE EXPECTANCY boy--75 years girl--82 years

ETHNICITY 88% chance of being European; 12% Maori

LIKELY NAME Matthew or Catherine

SPORTS rugby, cricket

LOCAL HEROES Xena, warrior princess

CAREER CHOICES farming, wool industry

WILL GET DRUNK ON beer

[COUNTRY] FIJI

[LIFE EXPECTANCY] boy--65 years girl--69 years

[ETHNICITY] 50% chance of being Fijian; 46% Indian

[LIKELY NAME] Taken from a relative

[SPORTS] rugby, soccer [LOCAL HEROES] President Sukuna

[CAREER CHOICES] tourism, civil service

[WILL GET DRUNK ON] kava

[COUNTRY] RUSSIA (Eastern Siberia)

[LIFE EXPECTANCY] boy--59 years girl--72 years

[ETHNICITY] 67% chance of being Russian; 7% Chukchi

[LIKELY NAME] Yuri or Irina

[SPORTS] ice fishing, deer racing

[LOCAL HEROES] Irina Pantaeva, model

[CAREER CHOICES] reindeer herding

[WILL GET DRUNK ON] vodka