Monday, Feb. 22, 1999

The Sick, The Dead and The Ugly

There is no surefire way to Oscar's heart, but in an unscientific analysis of previous Academy Award winners, we found some uncanny similarities. On the basis of these, we were able to zero in on the folks who might want to be clearing some prominent shelf space soon.

BEST FILM

PAST WINNERS Titanic (1997) The English Patient (1996) Braveheart (1995)

COMMON TRAITS Biggest star dies after heroic deeds; epic length

AND THE OSCAR GOES TO... Saving Private Ryan

BEST ACTOR

[PAST WINNERS] Jack Nicholson (As Good As It Gets) Geoffrey Rush (Shine) Nicolas Cage (Leaving Las Vegas)

[COMMON TRAITS] Behaves oddly; troubled by a big affliction

[AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...] Nick Nolte (Affliction)

BEST ACTRESS

[PAST WINNERS] Helen Hunt (As Good As It Gets) Frances McDormand (Fargo) Susan Sarandon (Dead Man Walking)

[COMMON TRAITS] Is dowdy; handles troubled men; is a mother or a Sister

[AND THE OSCAR GOES TO...] Meryl Streep (One True Thing)