Scott Adams

By Joel Stein

Scott Adams' cartoon, Dilbert, will debut Jan. 25 on UPN.

Q: Do you think Drew Carey is trying to look like Dilbert on purpose?

A: I think it's a sad and tragic accident of birth.

Q: Here's the stumper: How does Dilbert have a potbelly if he doesn't have a mouth?

A: In the TV show we solved that with a bit of engineering sleight-of-hand. We've created what I call the amazing disappearing mouth, which will appear when he's speaking, then disappear when he's done.

Q: That's why people would tune into the show instead of reading the comic.

A: There's so much more. He has teeth and occasionally a tongue.

Q: Wow! I'll tune into that episode!

A: It's not a Melrose Place type of thing.

Q: If you wanted, you could draw better than that. Right?

A: Well, I'm a busy guy. It would require me to spend more than 10 minutes drawing if I increased the quality. Time management is very important.

Q: You're a certified hypnotist. Hypnotize me, Dilbert Cartoonist Guy!

A: How do you know you're not? That's the beauty of it. How do you know you wanted to call and interview me today?

Q: But as a bank teller you were robbed at gunpoint twice, so why didn't you just hypnotize them?

A: That was before I learned hypnosis. My only tool was fear. I was trying to hold them off by shooting perspiration directly out of my forehead, which I think blinded at least one of them.

Q: You've got a really generic name, and not many people know what you look like. You think any Scott Adamses are getting action based on your reputation?

A: That would be so sad for me. The ultimate irony: I get famous, other people get action.

--By Joel Stein