Banned in the U.S.A.

By Alain L. Sanders and Dara Horn

Hey, Happy Fourth of July! Sure, it's a free country, but sometimes there oughta be a law against laws. Some don'ts, sensible to silly, from around the nation:

*RIDGEWOOD, N.J. No Silly String in summer

*HILLSBOROUGH, N.C. No roosters

*CARRBORO, N.C. No drive-through windows in downtown business area

*WEAVERVILLE, N.C. No unleashed miniature pigs in public

*JONESBORO, GA. No profanity in front of children under 14

*JUPITER, FLA. No roadside billboards

*HOWEY-IN-THE-HILLS, FLA. No run-down facades with chipped paint

*SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, TEXAS No wearing of socks or ties

*STATE OF TEXAS No walking in the streets if there is a sidewalk

*HILLSIDE, ILL. No signs on residential property

*MOUNT PROSPECT, ILL. No harboring pigeons or bees

*TOPEKA, KANS. No alcohol in a teacup

*MANHATTAN, KANS. No indoor furniture on outdoor porches

*SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH No spitting on sidewalks

*LOS ANGELES No gas-powered leaf blowers

*COOS BAY, ORE. No possession of paint, ink or chalk with intent to apply graffiti

--By Alain L. Sanders and Dara Horn