OH, NO! FOR THE YES MAN

By Steve Wulf

In a far more innocent time, Marvin Aufrichtig would stage what he called "the Hamster Olympics" at the family home in Brooklyn. Marv, an aspiring sportscaster, would do the play-by-play as his hamsters competed against one another in a series of events. Their names were Ambrose and Zachary.

Last week the hamster in the wheel was Marv Albert. The sportscaster had started it spinning, to be sure, but the wheel, further propelled by justice and journalism, picked up so much speed that the former Marvin Aufrichtig just had to get off. On Thursday afternoon, in a bizarre end to a bizarre trial at Virginia's Arlington County courthouse, Albert, 56, pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor count of assault and battery in a case brought by a longtime lover. In the bargain, which prosecutors said had been offered to Albert before the trial began, the far more serious charge of forcible sodomy was dropped. Not long after his plea, NBC announced that it had fired Albert after 20 years with the network. The Madison Square Garden Network later issued a statement saying it had accepted Albert's resignation.

In the course of four days, more than 30 years of hard work, hustle and talent were reduced to a series of headlines in the New York Post. Each headline not only summed up the previous day's developments but also had a little fun with the revelations about Albert's sordid personal life.

There was nothing fun, however, about watching a man's career and reputation unravel before a nation's eyes, especially in the steadfast presence of his father, his children and his prospective wife. "From my point of view," said Albert, "I just felt that I had to end this ordeal for myself, my wonderful family, my fiance Heather, my friends and supporters."

Albert had been the emphatic voice of the New York Knicks and Rangers, the hound-dog face of NBC Sports, the favorite guest of David Letterman, and the proprietor of the most famous call in sports--Yesss! Along the way, though, he had evidently acquired some tastes and vices that clouded his judgment and apparently erased his understanding of the word no. On Feb. 12, Albert and a 42-year-old Virginia woman with whom he had had a 10-year-long sexual relationship arranged to meet at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel at Pentagon City in Arlington. According to the woman, Albert became angry because she hadn't brought along another man to join them, and bit her repeatedly on the back and forced her to perform oral sex. The woman called 911 and immediately filed a complaint, but it wasn't until May that her charges became a matter of public record.

At that time, Albert assured his employers and the media that he was innocent of the charges and that he would be exonerated. (His reputation was hardly enhanced, though, when his name and phone number were found this summer in the black book of a murdered New York City dominatrix.) The principal players in the case were a casting director's dream. Leading Albert's defense was Roy Black, who had made his reputation defending William Kennedy Smith against a rape charge in 1991. The lead prosecutor was Richard E. Trodden, a former high school teacher who has been known to hang pictures of W.B. Yeats, Winston Churchill and Sir Thomas More in his office. And presiding over the case was Judge Benjamin N.A. Kendrick, a triathlete, marathoner, in-line skater and crackerjack darts player.

From the very first day of the trial, on Sept. 22, the scene outside the courthouse was way past strange. The new sandstone building was besieged by reporters and cameramen and satellite trucks. The sheriff, who had distributed just 68 press passes, kept repeating, "I've done all I can. I've done all I can." Occasionally the members of the media were crudely serenaded by occupants of the building across the courtyard--the Arlington County Detention Center. An entrepreneur who specializes in wacky dentures offered a set of chops he called "the Marv" for $29.95.

What was happening inside the courtroom was even more outrageous. In his opening statement, Trodden pointed to Albert and told the jury that "a coarse and crude abuse of a human being took place...at the hands of that man." The prosecutor went on to reveal that Albert liked three-way sex and wore "ladies' underwear." Defense attorney Black in his statement portrayed the accuser as a troubled woman who sought revenge on his client because he was going to marry someone else. Black said she "collects" celebrities, pointing out that she once claimed to have had a "relationship" with Peter Jennings. (Jennings later denied ever having knowingly met the woman.) If the trial had been scored like one of the prizefights Albert used to call for NBC, Round 1 would have been called even.

The accuser took the stand on the second day and testified about her relationship with Albert, which she said began in 1986 when he was still married and she was a hotel switchboard operator in Miami. She said that on the night in question, the otherwise affectionate Albert bit her back and forced her to perform oral sex. During cross-examination, Black stunned the accuser and the prosecution by playing a tape of a conversation between her and a Washington-area cabdriver--Walter ("Biggie") Brodie--in which she tries to get him to tell the prosecution that Albert had asked him to get "a boy." Albert took a few punches, but Round 2 went to the defense.

Because Virginia law allows "surprise witnesses," the trial had a real Perry Mason moment Wednesday when the prosecution called Patricia Masden to the stand. Masden described two encounters with Albert while she was an employee of the Hyatt hotel chain. She said the first occurred in Miami in 1993 when, after a few drinks in his room, Albert asked her about oral sex and threesomes, then bit her lip when he tried to kiss her. The second took place in Dallas in 1994 after Albert asked her to come up to his room to help him send a fax. Masden said she found him wearing panties and a garter belt, "exposed and aroused"; he pushed her head toward his crotch and bit her neck. As Masden tried to shove him away, she said, she pulled his hairpiece off, and when Albert went to cover his head, she fled from the room. Round 3 was a clear victory for the prosecution.

On the fourth day, Albert's cornermen threw in the towel. Afraid that the prosecution had more surprises and frustrated because Judge Kendrick was citing Virginia's rape shield law to disallow testimony that might have impeached the accuser's credibility, Black recommended that Albert accept the plea bargain that was said to have been offered to him before all that dirty laundry had been aired.

That left people wondering why Albert had been willing to put himself and his family through so much and why Black had allowed him to do so. "He was raped," Black complained to CNN's Burden of Proof last Thursday. "He was raped in the tabloids and the news... If he had been anyone else than Marv Albert, I don't think this case would have been brought."

After the trial, Albert's accuser revealed herself to be Vanessa Perhach, a hotel worker from Vienna, Va. "I got justice," she said in a newspaper interview. "He admitted he did something wrong." She also said she hoped Albert wouldn't be thrown in the slammer.

Most likely, he won't be. Albert is expected to be sentenced to probation. But his real punishment will be banishment from the microphone. When Judge Kendrick asked Albert, "Are you pleading guilty to this crime because you are, in fact, guilty of this crime?" Albert solemnly said, "Yes." That may be the last time he makes that call before an audience.

--With reporting by Sally B. Donnelly/Arlington

With reporting by SALLY B. DONNELLY/ARLINGTON