ALL BIG YUKS

By GINIA BELLAFANTE

In this, the dawn of the v-chip age, it is hard to understand how John Woo has found a place on prime-time network television. As you may already know if you are on the cutting edge of moviegoing, Woo is one of the pre-eminent auteurs of Hong Kong filmmaking, a master of somber, lyrical and unrelentingly bloody action films. He had his first U.S. hit earlier this year with Broken Arrow, and breaks new American ground this month with his first-ever made-for-TV movie, John Woo's Once a Thief (Fox, Sept. 29, 8 p.m. EDT).

Clearly a project for which Jane Seymour was not approached, Once a Thief is nevertheless a perfectly viable movie-of-the-week, one in which Woo has tempered his darker instincts. Present are his trademark slow-motion shots, ingeniously choreographed fisticuffs and gunplay--yet nary a visible drop of blood is shed.

The film is an elaborately plotted escapade featuring a pair of glamorous Hong Kong-based criminals, Li Ann and Mac (Sandrine Holt and Ivan Sergei). They are lovers whose most troublesome character flaw seems to be an addiction to hair gel. Li Ann also demonstrates an ability to probably run faster in a snug mini-skirt and high-heeled boots than even Dennis Rodman.

The charm of Once a Thief is that nearly every moment is played with a wink--the almost nonstop score has the giddy feel of music that might accompany a Stanley Donen caper, while the clipped pace of the showdowns gives the movie the tone of a Power Rangers episode with wit. Newcomer Sergei proves himself an appealing comedian as he smugly cuts down his rivals' big plans with lines like "Keep dreamin', Serpico." The movie ends with Sergei and Holt poised for further adventures. A series maybe? --G.B.