NOTEBOOK

By CHARLOTTE FALTERMAYER, JANICE M. HOROWITZ, LINA LOFARO, MICHAEL QUINN, JEFFERY C. RUBIN AND ALAIN L. SANDERS

VERBATIM

"I see the President and the First Lady are not here, probably someplace testifying." --Don Imus, being inducted into the National Association of Broadcasters Hall of Fame

"[Madonna] said that she doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's bisexual." --Tonight Show host Jay Leno "At Fox News, we'll try to be first, but we promise to be fair...We may seek to develop another expert source of information regarding Cuba other than CNN's bureau chief and democracy consultant, Fidel Castro." --Rupert Murdoch, who plans to launch an all-news channel

"I'm disappointed...But I'm not going to run around like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody." --Greg Norman, who came in second in the Masters, the sixth major golf tournament he has lost in the last round

"Good riddance." --The Daily Mirror on the divorce of the Duchess of York

WINNERS & LOSERS

SQUAWK RADIO

[WINNERS]

DON IMUS Unburnt by his toasting of the First Family, he is inducted into the Broadcasters Hall of Fame

ALAN DERSHOWITZ Fired last month for calling talk-show rival Bob Grant a racist; vindicated by Grant's own firing

GORDON LIDDY Cruel rules: Syndicated felon enjoys p.r. coup calling brother of Unabomb suspect a "snitch"

[& LOSERS]

HOWARD STERN One fan too many: a gun-packing Sternophile who stalks, threatens and praises his idol

BOB GRANT Shock radio gets a shock of its own as Grant is dumped for mocking the death of Ron Brown

RUSH LIMBAUGH The backlash continues. Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot begins 13th week as best seller

TONGUE IN CHECK

Why do Bill Clinton and Germany's Helmut Kohl get along so well, as they did at last week's summit in Moscow? Maybe it's because the President speaks some German and the Chancellor some English. Other polyglots present at the conference: French President Jacques Chirac, who speaks English and some Russian; Italian Prime Minister Lamberto Dini, who gets along in English, French and Spanish; and Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, who is fluent in English and French, his country's two official languages. That left the monolinguists--Russian President Boris Yeltsin, Japanese Prime Minister Ryutaro Hashimoto and British Prime Minister John Major--mostly at the mercy of interpreters, even for small talk. A rundown of other leaders with more than one idiom on their resume:

LEADER LANGUAGES

POUL NYRUP RASMUSSEN Danish, English, French, German Prime Minister of Denmark

ION ILIESCU Romanian, English, French, Russian President of Romania

SHIMON PERES Hebrew, English, French, Russian, Prime Minister of Israel Yiddish

HASSAN II Arabic, English, French, Spanish King of Morocco

P.V. NARASIMHA RAO Hindi, Telegu and several other Prime Ministerof India Indian languages, English, Spanish

JIANG ZEMIN Mandarin Chinese, English, President of China Russian, Romanian

KIM YOUNG SAM Korean, English, Japanese President of South Korea

FERNANDO HENRIQUE CARDOSO Portuguese, English, French, President of Brazil Spanish, Italian, German

NO THIRD CANDIDATE?

"If something happened along the route and you had to leave your children with Bob Dole or Bill Clinton, I think you'd probably leave them with Bob Dole." --BOB DOLE LAST WEEK AT A CAMPAIGN STOP IN PENNSYLVANIA

HEALTH REPORT

THE GOOD NEWS

--Getting the Recommended Daily Allowance of 60 mg of VITAMIN C may not be enough for optimal health. Researchers believe the new RDA should probably be 200 mg--about the amount in 11/2 cups of fresh orange juice. More than 400 mg daily appears to provide no further benefit.

--Here's one for the beer belly. The researcher who showed that aspirin can prevent heart disease now says DARK BEER may too. Dark brews--but not light ones--are rich in flavonoids, vitamin-like compounds that seem to make platelets less prone to clotting.

--The FDA has approved a pair of drugs to HELP CURE ULCERS, not just treat symptoms. An antibiotic taken with an antacid kills off the bacteria implicated in causing most ulcers.

THE BAD NEWS

--Mothers-to-be should lay off the CAFFEINE. Drinking three or more cups of coffee or tea daily during the first four months of pregnancy may more than double the risk of miscarriage.

--Another reason to get the lead out: a study shows that high residues of the heavy metal in bones may be a significant cause of HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, even more so than dietary salt or aging.

--GULF-WAR SYNDROME could have been caused by three ordinarily harmless doses of chemicals that, when combined, produce neurological damage, research on chickens suggests. The soldiers took anti-nerve gas pills that may have limited their bodies' ability to withstand certain pesticides they applied to their skin and clothes.

Sources--GOOD NEWS: Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences; Experimental Biology meeting; Food and Drug Administration BAD NEWS: Epidemiology; Journal of the American Medical Association: Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health

ANOTHER BAD RAP

"I feel so used. It's pitiful. Now that the wedding's over, she doesn't need me anymore." TONYA HARDING'S SOON TO BE EX-HUSBAND MICHAEL SMITH, LAMENTING THAT SHE MARRIED HIM ONLY FOR PUBLICITY

LOCAL HEROES

DIANA NAPPER, 38; WEXFORD, PA.; housewife and mother Her best friend, Carol Jo Weiss Friedman, had a vision that Napper would create something to make people more aware of breast cancer. So Napper designed the crystal-and-pearl Glimmer of Hope pin in memory of Friedman, who died of the disease in 1990. Almost 2,000 pins have been sold, raising nearly $24,000 for research. The proceeds will go to Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh. Napper says the pin represents a bond among women: "Even those of us who don't have breast cancer are afraid."

HANS FRANK, 85; NEW YORK CITY; international tax attorney An exile from Hitler's Germany, Frank has for four decades used his legal expertise and idealism to lead Selfhelp, a group founded to assist Jewish refugees. He has expanded Selfhelp's mission to include home care for the elderly of all races and, more recently, for AIDS patients. Now he is guiding Selfhelp's attempt to recover Nazi-seized property in the former East Germany, "a very fortuitous ending to my career that gives me great satisfaction."

64 YEARS AGO IN TIME

A CHILD IN PERIL

The press frenzy around the kidnapping--and murder--of the son of hero aviator Charles Lindbergh was the prototype of such end-of-the-century sensations like the O.J.Simpson trial: "By various police leaks the contents of the ransom note and its identifying 'token'--a simple affair used often by criminals of the world over--was soon in the hands of most metropolitan newspapers and news services...[Later] newspapers laid themselves open to the charge of obstructing the child's return. Prime point in question was the publication of the story that the ransom had been paid and that a lookout had been posted to trace the bills, plainest warning to the criminals of Col. Lindbergh's countermove." --May 2, 1932

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

SENOR WENCES, 100, MANHATTAN; Ventriloquist from TV's golden age His guttural "s'all right" and squeaky "s'okay" have somehow remained part of the American comic vocabulary even as Senor Wences has faded from sight. Last week the ventriloquist quietly celebrated his 100th birthday with family in Manhattan before taking off for his customary half-year in his native Spain. Senor Wences was a staple on TV for three decades, starting on the Ed Sullivan Show, where he conducted absurd conversations with his dummy Pedro, his puppet Cecelia the chicken, or the blond-wigged Johnny, a face he painted on his hand, moving thumb and index finger to simulate a mouth. Born Wenceslao Moreno, he imitated voices as a child. He worked as an amateur bullfighter but, after being gored repeatedly, took up circus juggling. Later his ventriloquist act achieved worldwide fame. In his mid-80s he appeared on the Muppet Show and Late Night With David Letterman; he also toured briefly in the musical Sugar Babies.