The Best of 1992

Timex Indiglo

The message is as simple as Ivory Soap's classic "It floats." In this case, it glows. Timex introduced a dial that lights up in a commercial so droll that some Saturday Night Live viewers took it for an SNL send-up. Sinatra croons "Strangers in the night . . ." as a smitten firefly hovers over the sparkling watch. Smack! A huge hand suddenly swats at the radiant suitor but misses him, hitting the watch. The disconsolate firefly takes off. The object of his affections "takes a licking and keeps on ticking."

Federal Express

Like any other boss, he's never to blame. When a furious customer calls to complain that an important package has not arrived, this manager switches to falsetto, pretending to be a secretary, while he gets Federal Express on the other line to run an instant trace on the goods. (Did you know they could do that?) FedEx spoofs executive puffery while showing business customers everywhere that thanks to those little hand-held computers carried by its staff, it always knows precisely where every package is.

Saturn

Remember your first car? A young woman talks about picking out hers (a Saturn) with her dad. Other Saturn owners recount horrific auto accidents, reporting that thanks to their rugged little cars, they emerged unscathed. Taken together, the ads describe a family car that is sturdy, affordable -- and . friendly to boot. When a teacher writes to the factory about her Saturn, the workers who made it gather round to sign a note to her. Message: This is a family worth joining.

Ross Perot

It's just that simple: if you're going to run this country, you've got to master a few basics. Perot elevated the tone of the campaign by lowering the glitz with a series of televised voter seminars on the deficit and other thorny topics. Although he lost the presidency, he won a consolation prize: Advertising Age named him Adman of the Year. If there have to be infomercials, this is what they ought to be like.

American Express

Jerry Seinfeld discusses credit-card interest rates with a goldfish, yet. In another ad, he watches as a wealthy consumer is rebuffed by the salesclerk when he proffers the card. Says Seinfeld: "What! You pick the clothes, he picks the card?" Perfect casting. Seinfeld's message drips with a sarcasm that Amex could not deliver directly.

Aetna

Face it, they've got your number. "Retirement Plan A: Uncle Winthrop dies and leaves you $50 million." Sound familiar? This typical desperate fantasy of anxious mid-lifers everywhere was the perfect setup for the recurring message in Aetna's campaign about the importance of financial planning: "Retirement Plan B: Call Aetna." In a series of ads that delivered reassurance with a smile ("Plan A: You strike oil while planting petunias . . ."), Aetna reminded a generation of Americans that it is never too late to get real.

Whiskas

Better than testimonials from talking cats. "Read my beak!" says the feisty little spokesparrot for this premium cat chow. "No more birds!" He's out to convince cats that Whiskas is "a heck of a lot more nutritious than a teeny little guy" like himself. Best of all, thanks to brilliant editing, the little guy really appears to be speaking in that weird French accent.

Lee's Easy Riders

Attention baby boomer: you're not a kid anymore. Lee's ads poke gentle fun at this, ah, growing market. We've all been there. Dad sits down to watch TV in his old jeans and his top button flies off, ricocheting around the room like a bullet. A woman struggling to get into her too tight jeans keeps her date waiting so long that he meets and marries her roommate. If only she'd had Easy Riders . . .

Windsor Canadian

The old workingman's blues theme is given a comical twist in these black-and- white magazine portraits of frustrating moments. A woman ties her dog to the side of the house; when it lunges, the whole structure collapses. In another, just as a laborer is finishing a perfect sidewalk, a friendly pup trots through the wet cement to visit him. The bottom line: "Fortunately, every day comes with an evening." And a soothing whiskey, perhaps?

. . . AND THE WORST

Bell Atlantic: This half-hour "sitcommercial" about a tiresome family called the Ringers -- actually a home-shopping vehicle for Bell Atlantic with lots of phone jokes -- has been airing weekend afternoons and late nights in Baltimore, and is coming soon to other Eastern cities. The company is threatening to make it a continuing series. What's next? The Carpenters, for Home Depot?