When Kids Kill Abusive Parents

By Anastasia Toufexis

In the tiny community of Cement, Oklahoma, trees and telephone poles are festooned with pink ribbons. People work tirelessly to collect signatures on petitions. The activity is in support of Billie Joe Powell, a 16-year-old girl charged with fatally shooting her father, who had allegedly abused her. Townspeople hope their efforts will help persuade the court to try the high school sophomore not as an adult but as a juvenile, so that she will receive more lenient treatment.

A few years ago, such sympathy would have been unheard of. Children who killed their parents were the ultimate pariahs. Regarded as evil or mentally ill "bad seeds," they virtually always earned the harshest judgment of the public and the courts. Says psychologist and attorney Charles Patrick Ewing of the State University of New York at Buffalo: "We take the commandment to 'honor thy father and thy mother' very seriously. The implication is that you're supposed to honor your parents even if they abuse you."

That attitude is slowly starting to change. Today youngsters who slay abusive parents are drawing more understanding from a public that has awakened to the national nightmare of child abuse. Last year an estimated 2.7 million youngsters were physically, mentally and sexually assaulted by their parents, % according to the National Center for Prevention of Child Abuse. Despite the prevalence of abuse, parricide remains rare. It accounts for about 2% of all homicides, around 300 cases a year. Most of those involve teenagers who kill abusive parents. Though the numbers are small, these youngsters "open a window on our understanding of child abuse in a way that no one else can," says Los Angeles lawyer Paul Mones, whose practice is devoted to defending children accused of parricide. "They allow us to understand how abuse is incubated."

Sons are more likely than daughters to strike back violently. "Men by and large tend to act outwards and be more aggressive," says Ronald Ebert, senior forensic psychologist at McLean's Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts. "Girls tend to internalize pain and blame themselves more." Abused girls often become bulimic or suicidal.

Typically, the child who kills a parent is from 16 to 18 years old, from a white middle-class family. Most have above-average intelligence, although their schoolwork may be below average. They generally are well-adjusted in school and the community, though they tend to be isolated, without many friends. They commonly have had no prior run-in with the law.

Their target is most often the father -- usually a biological or stepparent rather than an adoptive or foster parent -- and the typical weapon is a gun kept in the home. These young people generally do not show any obvious sign of the mental disorders and self-destructive tendencies shared by children who strike out at strangers on the street or at nonabusive parents. In fact, dispatching their tormentor can be seen as an act of sanity, a last-resort effort at self-preservation. "They know what they're doing is wrong," says Dewey Cornell, a forensic psychologist at the University of Virginia. "But they are desperate and helpless, and they don't see alternatives."

Abuse is a mild term for the torture that parents inflict. When he went on trial for murder last August in Olympia, Washington, Israel Marquez, 17, recited a litany of abuse that began when he was seven years old. His stepfather, a deputy sheriff and martial-arts expert, liked to punch him in the chest and slap him on the head. When he went through a bed-wetting period between the ages of seven and 12, the stepfather beat him with a 2-in.-wide belt. After hearing the boy's tale, the jury found Marquez guilty of the reduced charge of voluntary manslaughter. He is expected to be released from prison in April.

Donna Marie Wisener's suffering at her father's hand started at age two and continued into her teens. To mark his displeasure, he threw oak logs at her; for amusement, he handcuffed her to a chair. Just as bad for the Tyler, Texas, girl was the sexual abuse. Her father would send her lewd Valentines -- "I would like your heart and I assume the rest of you will follow" read one message -- and give her "rubdowns." The agony culminated one evening when her father threw her against the wall, hitting her on the head over and over. He also beat her mother until she fell unconscious to the floor, then he threw Donna Marie out of the house. In despair, she returned and took a loaded revolver from her parents' nightstand. When her father came at her again, she shot him dead. Last February she was found not guilty of first-degree murder by reason of self-defense.

Mark Martone of Haverhill, Massachusetts, who killed his father, remembers abuse back to age five, when he told his dad he was scared of the dark. "Oh, Jesus Christ," said the parent in disgust. Then he led the terrified boy down to the cellar, handcuffed his arms over a rafter, turned off the light and shut the door. Mark dangled in silence for hours. "God forbid if I cried," he recalls. "I was just like a hanging Everlast bag, you know? Punch me, punch me." When Mark was nine, his father held the boy's hand over a red-hot burner as punishment for moving a book of matches on a bureau. And when he was 15, his dad, angered by a long-distance phone bill, stuck a gun in his son's mouth and "told me he was going to blow my brains out."

Most abused children suffer quietly. The lucky ones find other supportive adults who nurture them, typically a nonabusive parent, grandparent, teacher or coach. Some manage to cope by emotionally numbing themselves or by taking out their repressed anger on someone other than the abuser. Others find the torment intolerable. They may run away or try to commit suicide. Donna Marie Wisener once had a gun in her mouth when she was discovered by her father, who told her, "Next time do it right."

Some seek outside help, but often to no avail. "I spent my whole childhood trying to get help, and none ever came," says Roy Rowe, 19, who last year was sentenced to four to 12 years for killing his stepfather. Neighbors in Vestal, New York, sometimes called the police when the screams grew too loud from the beatings -- with a paddle, a belt and a two-by-four -- that Roy's stepfather gave him, his younger sister and brother, and his mother. Teachers reported their suspicions of abuse; relatives tried to intervene. But each time, police officers and social workers left the children in the home. On his 17th birthday, Roy shot and killed his stepfather on their front porch as he came home from work.

What makes some children finally snap? "They don't pay as you go with regard to aggression," observes Detroit psychiatrist Emanuel Tanay. "You might think they're passive, but they're also explosive." Many parricides occur when the child is on the cusp of independence, about to break away from a parent's domination. Sometimes the killing is triggered by a desire to protect the other parent or siblings.

Often an escalation in the level of violence precedes the slaying. Mark Martone was 16 when he shot his father to death. "This was not a routine beating," he recalls. His father had slammed his head against a radiator, kicked him in the ribs and struck him on the skull with a hammer. As he sat in jail the night of the murder, Mark was still terrified. "Oh, God," he said to himself, "what am I doing here! Dad's going to kill me!" Mark was convicted of homicide as a juvenile but was sentenced to six months probation. Like others who have suffered the same ordeal, he remains torn by his immense relief, guilt, grief, even love. "It may sound sick, but I did love him," says Mark. "I still love him. I mean, he was my father."

Although a "battered-child-syndrome" defense is beginning to be recognized, mounting a legal case for these kids is difficult because the law does not, for the most part, recognize such killings as self-defense. Though some occur during an episode of brutal abuse, most happen when parents are in a vulnerable position: coming in the door, watching television, cooking dinner with their back turned, or sleeping. That may be the only time youngsters can overpower their abusers, but it makes the killing appear to be cold-blooded murder.

Advocates for abused youngsters contend that such seemingly premeditated acts can be self-defense. People who suffer abuse for a long time can become adept at sensing impending violence. "They are hypervigilant, sensitive to aggressive cues," explains Mones. "They know when someone is going to hurt them even though it may not be apparent to the outside observer." He calls for prosecutors to assign parricide cases to trained child-abuse investigators rather than to regular homicide detectives.

- Many mental-health experts now favor treatment rather than punishment for battered kids, who rarely are violent again. "These kids don't need to be locked up for our protection," observes Buffalo's Ewing. "Some may benefit in the sense that they've been able to atone and overcome some guilt. But beyond that, it's really Draconian."

The larger issue is how to prevent the abuse that leads to the killing. In addition to strengthening social-service agencies and enforcing laws that require reporting of suspected abuse, experts recommend school-based programs that teach parenting skills to would-be mothers and fathers. Schools could also educate children about the difference between acceptable and abusive punishment and tell them where to find help when parents get out of control. Many abused youngsters think that hitting and kicking are normal, and most cannot conceive of turning in their mothers and fathers. Besides saving desperate youngsters and their parents, educational programs could go a long way toward ensuring that the violence is not visited on the next generation. No one should forget that the majority of child batterers were once battered children themselves.

With reporting by Hannah Bloch/New York and Jeanne McDowell/Los Angeles