Welcome To Houston!

By Sidney Urquhart

As Republicans roll into Houston this week, they will get a steamy reception from the city's legion of TOPLESS DANCERS. Rick's cabaret is distributing White House-style invitations that promise "an evening of politically correct fun and excitement." "I'm making more than a brain surgeon right now," boasts one entrepreneurial "lap dancer." Other club owners offer fax machines and conference rooms to customers seeking to mix politics with pleasure. But Houston authorities are ready to pounce in case drug dealing or prostitution occurs. "For anyone with an elephant badge who thinks they can violate the law," warns Harris County lawman Terry O'Rourke, "we have jail space waiting."