Scorecard

By Janice Castro

Bush campaign spokeswoman Torie Clarke last week criticized Clinton and Gore for indulging in family therapy. Said she: "Real men don't get on the couch." That depends, of course, on one's party affiliation. A Campaign Guide for Real Men:

R: Dread the couch

D: Dread August, when therapists are away

R: Brandish lifetime N.R.A. memberships

D: Boast about high A.D.A. ratings

R: Campaign at stock-car races

D: Take the family along on the campaign bus

R: Blame government for problems

D: Blame the rich

R: Go hunting

D: Play softball

R: Never eat broccoli

D: Have a favorite broccoli recipe

R: Get sick in Japan

D: Get sick in Mexico

R: Hold press conferences

D: Schmooze with Donahue

R: Prefer Sousa

D: Prefer Fleetwood Mac

R: Protect women

D: Elect women