Forward Spin

By Janice Castro

FIRST PUNDIT

Both commentator Pat Buchanan and humor columnist Dave Barry are running for President. It's time for a Draft Ann Landers movement. Listen, Cookie, hard- pressed Americans could use some practical advice.

LEFT-COAST POLITICS

Malibu now counts whales and dolphins as citizens. Santa Cruz is considering an ordinance to protect working slobs against "appearance discrimination," and San Francisco may follow suit. Expect the corporate exodus from California to reach landslide proportions.

POLICE BLOTTER

Inspired by sexual-harassment laws, a Montana statute outlaws hunter harassment by animal-rights activists. Coming soon: harasser harassment.

POLITICAL LINGO

Primaries used to winnow out the weaker candidates. But this year some Democrats hope their candidates can "winnow in," that is, earn respect by hanging around. Our advice: Call Ann Landers.

COLLECTOR OVERDOSE

The trading boom in baseball cards has given us series featuring soap stars, Desert Storm heroes, rabbis, drug-sniffing dogs, fugitives and now a new 196- card set picturing missing children. What next? Broken hearts? Top 10 organ transplants?

APPEARANCES

Fashion magazines are sprouting models who look like actual women. Cosmetics makers are pushing the "real" look. Get ready for the Tammy Faye Bakker backlash.

With reporting by Wendy Cole