Presidential Upchuck Scorecard

By Janice Castro

Winners

BARBARA BUSH: For grace and good humor that defused a frightening situation. Anyone who doubted that the President was all right was immediately reassured by Mrs. Bush's decision to stay at the dinner when he had to leave.

KIICHI MIYAZAWA: For cradling the President's head as Bush vomited on him and later dismissing the incident as absolutely "normal."

PRESIDENT BUSH: For his quip on the floor: "Why don't you just roll me under the table and let me sleep it off?"

U.S. TRADE BALANCE: After that, the Japanese delegation could hardly let him go home with nothing.

CHICKEN SOUP: Goes down easy when you're queasy.

Losers

JAPANESE HANDLERS: For panicking and manhandling the press, creating a false sense of crisis.

CNN HEADLINE NEWS: For coming within a nanosecond of swallowing a phony report that Bush had died; to his credit, a CNN worker threw caution to the winds, shouting "No! Stop! Stop!" in the newsroom as anchor Don Harrison began to announce the "tragic news involving President Bush."

PRESIDENT BUSH: How'd you like to have millions -- maybe billions -- see you tossing your diplomatic cookies?

DOUBLES WITH THE EMPEROR: Next time, take a rain check.

JAPANESE RESTAURANTS: Everyone's first thought: It was that sushi, wasn't it?

With reporting by Wendy Cole