Business Notes HOLLYWOOD

An AT&T commercial upbraids consumers: "We're tired of taking your crap! If we fold, you'll have no damn phones!" A Porsche ad promises male owners instant sex. And a United Airlines spot boasts, "Most of our passengers get there alive!" In the new Paramount film, Crazy People, the advertising copywriter who pens these lines is committed to an insane asylum. Since this is Hollywood, though, the writer, played by Dudley Moore, soon becomes the hottest property on Madison Avenue and falls in love with Daryl Hannah.

Paramount added zing to the tale by using the names of real companies, but ABC and CBS have declined to run some commercials for the film because they include fake ads that might upset major network advertisers. Paramount pleads that the movie is a comedy. Starting this week, moviegoers can make that judgment for themselves.