American Notes SPEECH

Bicycle Messenger Christopher Stalvey, 19, reached Attorney General Edwin Meese's Justice Department all set to rush in and deliver a package. No way, said guards at the door after taking a look at his T shirt. It read, "Experts Agree! MEESE is a PIG."

Stalvey took his story to the American Civil Liberties Union, which had no doubt that Justice had behaved unconstitutionally simply because the messenger was a medium. After some defensive mumbling, Justice retreated. "Obviously we're not going to keep people out because of what they're wearing," said Meese.