People

By Guy D. Garcia

Hey Mike! Over here, Mike. Could you give us a minute? "Please, everybody, don't shove. Mike wants to answer all your questions, but he's a very hot dog right now. We just did Letterman and Merv and now Saturday Night. So he's really very tired." Sure, but just tell us, did you really pee on Letterman, Mike? "The show, not the star. Mike's been well trained. He does 110 tricks. It's all on your fact sheets." Yeah, yeah, we know. He's a seven- year-old border collie with one brown eye and one blue one. Down and Out in Beverly Hills is the biggest picture in the country, and his performance as the neurotic mutt Matisse was "Oscar-caliber work," according to the New York Times. But your fans are wondering if it's all going to your head, Mike? "Well, it is true that we travel first class on airplanes now. He was simply too stressed out after flying baggage class. Yes, Disney is talking TV series. But Mike wants his public to know that his success didn't come overnight. We are talking about a veteran of commercials for Doublemint gum, French's mustard and Toyota. Now if you'll excuse us." Mike, we hear you are trying to get away for a quiet tryst with your collie girlfriend. Any comment? "Really we must go. Mike has never attacked a reporter before, but . . ."