By Guy Garcia

Oh, to be 46 and look like Claudia Cardinale. (Or spend time with someone who does.) Italy's President Sandro Pertini recently told a group of journalists that she is the living actress "I admire most in the movies." But despite their leader's enthusiasm, Italian audiences and critics have had a more mixed reaction to the star's latest film, Claretta, directed by Cardinale's constant companion, Pasquale Squitieri. The comely Cardinale plays Mussolini's mistress, and some think the movie is too soft on II Duce. "The film is not about Mussolini," counters Producer Giacomo Pezzali. "It is about Claretta Petacci and her family. We've concentrated on the love story between Claretta and Mussolini. All we wanted to do was a film about this woman who was so very much like a character in a Greek tragedy."

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One of the paintings on the White House walls was switched without announcement or ceremony last month, but not because the subject was unknown. The reason is that former President Richard Nixon, 71, never did like the portrait of him by Alexander Clayton that hung for three years outside the East Room. So last January, Nixon personally commissioned Houston Painter J. Anthony Wills, 72, to produce a new likeness for $20,000. Wills, who had done Dwight Eisenhower's White House portrait and had also rendered Henry Kissinger for the State Department, went to New York City to see his subject. But he tried to paint him as he looked while in office. The final 45 3/4 in.-by-34 7/8 in. canvas took two weeks to finish and was approved by both Nixon and his wife Pat. "He was ecstatic," recalls Wills. The original

Clayton painting, which cost the White House Historical Association $15,000, has now been banished from display but will remain in the Presidential Collection.

His father is as famous for his penchant for privacy as for his fiction, but when it comes to his career Matt Salinger, 24, the son of Catcher in the Rye Author J.D., is no chip off the writer's block. "My father sees his job as writing. Whether anybody reads his stories, his job is writing them. I see my job as acting." But young Salinger hopes somebody comes to see him in Dancing in the End Zone, which just started rehearsals and will open in January. It will be his Broadway debut, following some off-Broadway and out-of-town stage work as well as a few bit parts in TV soaps. In End Zone, he landed one of the lead roles, playing James Bernard, a talented college quarterback who struggles to reconcile his personal conscience with the win-at-any-cost pressures of his coach. Salinger's father and mother (who divorced in 1966) have both supported his acting ambitions and promise to show up for one of the early performances. Says he: "I'll be nervous and worried enough without worrying about what they think." Which is something Holden Caulfield would certainly understand.

Boston bar patron: Hey pal, didya read Mike Barnicle the other day in the Globe? He says that "anybody interested in Ted Kennedy's political plans merely has to pay attention to the guy's weight," because he slims down before elections and then blows up again right afterward. Set me up again, and not that lite stuff.

Bartender: Here you go. I guess Teddy is lookin' kinda heavy these days, ain't he? Usually goes 210, and I bet he's piled on an extra 20. Another politician with a big mouth, right? Whaddaya say, how about some more pretzels?

Patron: Right you are. Like Barnicle says, "When Teddy is at McDonald's, you can watch the numbers change on the sign." Or how about, "You know where he stands: there's a dent in the ground," and--listen to this one--"Watching Ted Kennedy get out of a chair is like watching the Russians get out of Afghanistan."

Bartender: Not bad for heavy humor, but I hear Teddy came back with a letter to the editor that said, "When I get down to my fighting weight, which I plan to do, I would hope the Globe's policy of fairness will entitle me to the same expansive coverage."

Patron: Well, personally I got no sympathy for the guy. All it takes is a little self-restraint. Lemme have a corned beef on rye with extra mayo. And get me another brew while you're at it.

--By Guy Garcia