By Gary D. Garcia

Considering his celebrated penchant for life in the fast lane, it seemed fitting that Prince Andrew, 24, showed up last week in the land of eight-lane freeways, Hollywood and the 1984 Summer Olympics. The official reason for Andrew's visit to Southern California was to raise money for the British Olympic Association. Nevertheless, there was plenty of time for the usual folderoyalty: a chat with Nancy Reagan, a visit to the set of 2010 (sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey) and a meeting with members of the Los Angeles Hispanic community during which the prince donned a splendiferous sombrero. All went swimmingly (he even got a souvenir surfboard) until a stop at a vacant house in Watts, an economically depressed black section of the city, where Andrew turned characteristically prankish. Picking up a workman's spray gun, he pointed it at a gaggle of onlooking reporters--and then doused them with white paint. "I enjoyed that," said the pleased prince. The journalists were not amused. Amid grumbles of ruined camera equipment, the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner presented the British consulate with a bill for $1,200.

"This has great political significance. This is the political symbol of 1984." A beau jest, but what precisely did Democrat and former National Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski, 56, mean? Forget about it. After all, he was not mounting a podium but an elephant last week at the Palm Beach Polo and Country Club in Wellington, Fla., a polo-on-pachyderm stunt to acknowledge the sport's 1862 origin in India. Meanwhile, news came of a more cerebral contest, which should give comfort to technowarriors worried about American superiority. Brzezin ski, a chess buff, has a U.S.-made computer chess program while his Virginia neighbor, New York Representative Stephen Solarz, 43, has a Hong Kong-designed program. The two decided to send their computerized pieces into battle. With both programs set at difficulty Level 2, Brzezinski's American Chess Challenger was an easy victor. Solarz went to Level 3. No good. Level 4. Though still playing at Level 2, Challenger again prevailed. Harrumphed Solarz: "The important thing is I still beat him in tennis."

Despite his reputation as one of golfdom's best putters and despite having won $1.8 million in prize money, Ben Crenshaw, 32, had never won a major tournament in eleven years on the pro tour. But last week "Gentle Ben" finally got there as he captured the 48th Masters in Augusta, Ga. The easygoing Texan took command with a stunning 60-ft. birdie putt at the tenth, finishing two strokes ahead of Tom Watson, with a score of 277. "This is a sweet, sweet moment," said Crenshaw as he donned the tournament champion's traditional green Masters jacket. "I don't think there'll ever be a sweeter moment. It's a feeling of relief more than anything."

Standing in the wings, he was as nervous as cold water in a hot pan. Then Country-and-Western Veteran Roy Acuff introduced him as "a plain ole country boy from Illinois." And out onstage came Secretary of Agriculture John Block, 49, making his singing debut at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville. Block strummed his guitar and crooned a little bit of Crying My Heart Out over You and Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain. America's top farmer was on key but had a little trouble keeping time with the Opry band. "I wonder how that fellow marched at West Point," said a listener. "To a different drummer," replied someone else. As for Block, he told the generally appreciative audience: "I'm so excited I could almost explode. You know, I don't perform professionally." Why, shucks, John, course not.

--By Guy D. Garcia

On the Record

Richard Halverson, 68, chaplain of the U.S. Senate, on "word merchants" in the chamber: "Help them to appreciate the power of words... to honor, to disparage; to encourage, to disappoint; to comfort, to embarrass; to edify, to offend; to strengthen, to weaken; to motivate, to immobilize; to give hope, to frustrate; to purify, to pollute; to build, to destroy."

Archibald Cox, 71, former Watergate prosecutor, on being required to retire this year as a Harvard law professor: "I am presumed to be senile."