By Guy D. Garcia

'Twas the week before

Christmas and all

thru the press

Celebs were a-stirring

in old Saint Nick's

dress . . .

The strapping Santa who dropped in on the White House tour of Christmas decorations really wowed the children of the Washington diplomatic corps. Sporting a sleeveless red suit, white feathers and a mane of jingling gold jewelry, Mr. T, who is too bighearted to fit in the chimney, arrived at the door toting a bag stuffed with little t dolls. After Nancy Reagan took her turn on his knee and planted a kiss in between his Mandinka haircut, the mock-surly Santa had a warning for the assembled media: "Now don't you go writing anything mean about the Reagans, or I'll have to call on you." Look out, Larry Speakes, someone is after your job.

Meanwhile, out in Hollywood there must not have been a Santa suit left to rent anywhere. TV's T.J. Hooker, otherwise known as William Shatner, 52, got decked out for an episode of the show that airs Christmas Eve, with Hooker undercover--and under-beard--to bag some surprised crooks. At the annual Golden Apple Awards party, the mystery Santa was Cybill Shepherd, 33. With rouged nose plus paunch and beard, she took advantage of her out-of-form anonymity to dance with Linda Evans and flirt with Tom Selleck. "Contemplating Tom Selleck without him knowing who I was made it all worthwhile," she laughed. At another bash, there was no cover-up or anonymity for Linda Blair, 24, who wore a sexy mini that matched the suit worn by her pal and escort, Christopher Atkins, 22. And who was she? Twinkled Blair: "I'm Santa's little helper."

The first time Jack Lemmon played a priest was in 1949 on a live television program with Charlton Heston. "I think I received $25, and Chuck received $40," chuckles Lemmon, 58. Now, 34 years later, and presumably for a few dollars more, he has returned to the church in Mass Appeal, a movie version of the 1981 Broadway drama, playing Father Tim Farley, a complacent parish padre. The actor believes that "films over the years have treated priests less rigidly." To be sure. It is difficult to imagine a post-Vatican II Barry Fitzgerald.

A "well-researched, flatly written work-up," said the pre-publication review of Poor Little Rich Girl: The Life and Legend of Barbara Hutton. But Dr. Edward A. Kantor, a Beverly Hills throat specialist, had a flatly different opinion of C. David Heymann's book about the sensational life of the Woolworth heiress. There were a number of inaccuracies in the text, charged the doctor, including a libelous one reporting that Kantor once prescribed an excessive amount of drugs for Hutton. He had an unassailable point, since he was only 14 years old at the time he was supposedly making his Rx. Last week Random House agreed to recall and destroy as many books as possible. No estimated cost was disclosed, but 58,000 copies have already been shipped to bookstores across the country. The author claims his story still has a happy ending, though. Says Heymann: "The book has been sold for a movie. The movie is going to be made. I've made a lot of money." Does being rich mean never having to say you're sorry?

There are glimpses of him chopping wood and playing tennis at his secluded and heavily guarded Cavendish, Vt., estate. In an 80-minute interview on the popular French literary talk show Apostrophes, Soviet Exile Alexander Solzhenitsyn, 65, among other things reiterated his plea to the American people to stand up to the Soviet Union ("Do not go down on your knees like the pacifists of Western Europe"). The writer's ringing endorsement of the virtues of military power might be welcome at the White House, but it is bound to irk Europe's leftist intellectuals--something that should suit the Nobel laureate just fine.

--By Guy D. Garcia This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so viewer discretion is required.