By E. Graydon Carter

As President Reagan reeled off figures to demonstrate that his defense spending was comparatively not so large, reporters at the televised press conference began to titter. The President grew flustered, then spotted the cause. Nancy Reagan, 61, was in the wings with a cake for her husband's 72nd birthday. The assembled journalists launched into the appropriate chorus, with one quavering soloist adding, "How old are you?" Reagan sang back that it was "two days early." And while a few correspondents groused that the conference had been manipulated, the President happily cut slices out of something besides the budget.

Hey, where's Burt? You mean to say that Harper's Bazaar selects six guys they deem the nation's "most eligible" men, and forgets America's favorite bachelor, Burt Reynolds, 46? Not only that, the magazine asks his favorite bachelorette, Loni Anderson, 36, to play centerpiece with the designated half a dozen? Life, as Burt is sure to have said in at least one of his movies, is unfair. Fair or not, the "chosen" six are slotted by categories: Dudley Moore, 47 (lovableness); OJ. Simpson, 35 (business savvy); James Caan, 43 (receptiveness); George Burns, 87 (maturity); Alexander Godunov, 33 (physical grace); and Kris Kristofferson, 46 (brains). Brains? Oh yes, that Rhodes scholarship. And did Anderson mind Burt's absence? Says she solemnly: "It's good for one's own identity to do some things separately."

French sentiment toward monarchies has eased noticeably over the past 200 years. So no heads turned, or fell, when the far-from-royalist President of France, Socialist Franc,ois Mitterrand, 66, invited neighboring Monaco's Prince Rainier, 59, and his daughter Princess Caroline, 26, to the Elysee Palace for lunch. Caroline looked cheerful and radiant in what was her first official outing since the death of her mother Princess Grace last year. Monaco officials say she will be seen more and more at her father's side, assuming the ceremonial role that her mother once filled so beautifully.

Late one evening last November, former Green Beret Lieut. Colonel James G. ("Bo") Gritz, 44, led three fellow U.S. Army veterans and 15 Laotian guerrillas into Thailand in search of American soldiers listed as missing in action. The Defense Department, which knew of the plan, warned against it, and the unsanctioned commando raid turned up no Americans and no fresh information. Last week, however, the eagerness of Gritz's colleagues to tell their stories to Soldier of Fortune magazine, among others, did serve to embarrass their improbable group of backers and suppliers, who, it turns out, included Actors Clint Eastwood, 52, and William Shatner, 51, as well as the California-based Litton Industries. Eastwood is mum on his reasons for donating a reported $30,000, while Shatner claims that his $10,000 was paid solely in return for the rights to the life story of Gritz, who is believed to be still in Southeast Asia.

--By E. Graydon Carter

On the Record

Jorge Luis Borges, 83, Argentine author, on last year's island war between Britain and his country: "The Falklands thing was a fight between two bald men over a comb."

Eugene McCarthy, 66, former Senator and presidential candidate, on the nascent campaigns of current Democratic White House hopefuls: "John Glenn is running as Eisenhower, Walter Mondale is running as Hubert Humphrey, and Gary Hart is running as John Kennedy." This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so viewer discretion is required.