By E. Graydon Carter

For his role in the film version of Ira Levin's Deathtrap, Actor Michael Caine is dressed to kill in a $2,500 Sulka robe and a pair of $300 silk Gucci pajamas. Caine, 47, plays Sidney Bruhl, a writer of stage thrillers who has not had a Broadway hit in years. Then a former student of his, played by Christopher Reeve, 28, turns up at his converted windmill in East Hampton, N.Y., with a murderously good play. In a plot with more twists than a Chubby Checker concert, Bruhl conspires with his wife (Dyan Cannon) to take over the manuscript by doing in its author. During the filming of one scene, Cannon leaned toward Caine and whispered that he reminded her of her former husband, Cary Grant. Replied Caine: "I hate being taken for granted, but never mind being taken for Grant."

Alone at last? Yes, but only after the royal yacht Britannia managed to shake off its accompanying flotilla of well-wishers at Gibraltar and run for the open Mediterranean, could its two passengers, Prince Charles, 32, and his new bride, Diana, 20, begin a fortnight of solitude and sightseeing.

Meanwhile, London has been distracted by the cache of wedding gifts that went on display last week in St. James's Palace. On the first day of the two-month exhibit, some 4,000 visitors turned up to see close to 1,000 presents worth an estimated $8 million. This is barely a quarter of what has been received. The royal booty ranges from a slightly withered-looking, heart-shaped potato given by two little sisters from Cheshire to Saudi Crown Prince Fahd's nuptial offering: diamond and sapphire jewelry in a green malachite case, estimated to cost at least $1.5 million. Between the lowly spud and the regal ice are such newlywed staples as goblets, china, tableware, pots and pans, a microwave oven, a vacuum cleaner--but no toaster. Nonessentials included a 2-ft.-long solid gold dhow from Bahrain and a Steuben glass bowl from President and Mrs. Ronald Reagan. In the campy department are matching terry bathrobes with Charles and Diana stitched on their backs prizefighter style, a gift from Bridesmaid Clementine Hambro, 5.

For a none-too-musical, but wildly successful, heavymetal group like Van Halen, life on the road can be rocky. When a Colorado promoter served band members M & M's but failed to separate the brown ones they hate, the group was left with no alternative but to trash a dressing room, causing a couple of thousand dollars in damages. Vocalist David Lee Roth, 25, has further problems. His sexually suggestive antics whip pubescent fans into a frenzy and sometimes put naughty ideas into young girls' heads. Says Roth: "I get letters all the time saying, 'I got a kid and it looks like you and it needs a bicycle now and some pencils and a notebook by next year.' " His defense: a unique form of paternity insurance with Lloyd's of London for a premium of more than $10,000 a year.

"As far as I know, I think I am the only Cuban in exile who proclaims he would like to rule his country one day," says Jorge Batista, 38, son of the island's late dictator, Fulgencio Batista, who was ousted by Castro in 1959. Jorge may be excused for being a little out of touch with political realities; he has lived mostly in Europe for the past 20 years. Now, from his Fort Lauderdale condo, he believes he "can feel the political heartbeating of my compatriots." But Jorge's counterrevolutionary passions are tempered by practicality. He works as a runway model at fashion shows and attends modeling school. "It is a finishing school for me," he says. "It will help me lead. And one day, if my dreams are not reached politically, perhaps I can do public relations." He seems to have made a good beginning.

-- E. Graydon Carter

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