A Cattle Show in Florida

Much ado about nothing under the Kissimmee sun

Whether they are called beauty contests or cattle shows, they are silly, exhausting and largely pointless, and everyone knows it, especially the candidates who have to go along with the foolishness, or risk offending a group of voters, or let a rival get a step on them. Thus the presidential candidates have already suffered through a series of mock votes and straw polls of one kind or another. The latest was a "convention " thought up by an advertising man to steal a beat on the New Hampshire primary and hype interest among Republicans. Most of the "delegates" were chosen by lot, and the frolic had no status whatsoever. The report of TIME'S 'Miami correspondent Richard Woodbury:

It might have been Walt Disney World, which lay just across a grimy interstate. Outside the hotel where the happening occurred, giant hot-air balloons wafted under a blazing autumn sun. Dixieland bands strutted down walkways, and characters in Indian headdresses, space-shuttle caps and Abe Lincoln garb wandered about. Under an Australian pine by a swimming pool, a stocky old gentleman in a rumpled blue suit discoursed on farm policy. He said his name was Harold Stassen and he was once again running for President.

So was about everyone else.

There was Bob Dole, working the Frito-and-cheese table in Kissimmee Hall and predicting, "When all the rhetoric has died, I will be your nominee." Phil Crane declared optimistically, "This gives me the chance to break out of the crowd."

His blue plastic hard hats were popular souvenirs, and he easily won the battle of first impressions.

Planted at the hotel entrance, a giant derrick greeted delegates with the sign, CARTER GOT US INTO THIS MESS. IT WILL TAKE A CRANE TO PULL U.S. OUT.

John Connally gulped honey to ease a sore larynx and sent out his sons John and Mark and daughter Sharon to dispense hats and T shirts that proclaimed, CONNALLY--LEADERSHIP FOR AMERICA.

The three blazer-clad sons of George Bush were everywhere, dispensing charm to win last-minute conversions. "Consider my dad. He's going to knock 'em dead," said Neil, 24, pumping delegates' arms.

Everyone played the game of oneupmanship. Connally dispatched a yellow rose of Texas to each delegate's room.

Dole airlifted in 700 red roses from North Carolina, which were passed out by his wife and daughter; and he procured a maroon, hot-air balloon. Bush got not one but two balloons and rode in one himself. He offered rides, but few delegates could summon the courage to accept. When South Dakota Senator Larry Pressler invited delegates on an early morning jog, Bush, taking his wife and boys along, ran farther in a separate jaunt and served breakfast afterward.

Howard Baker canceled his appearance, citing a speaking commitment in Iowa, but he had some operatives on hand who were handing out double shots of whisky to assuage the delegates' feelings. There was even a watering hole for Al Haig, who did not make it either and whose name was not even on the ballot.

Still, there was an electric excitement in the gathering despite the frivolity. The delegates were largely middle-aged and up, an assortment of party faithful from all 67 of Florida's counties. Many had come long distances at the break of day, and they felt they were important, part of a vital political process. They were thrilled to see their party's leaders. "I don't know how to describe it without getting chills," said Mary Lane, a sixtyish real estate agent. "Most exciting thing that's happened to the party in years," agreed Mary Ruhl, 58, a retired schoolteacher.

At a smoke-filled reception, Dole was holding forth on inflation and foreign policy. "How about all those crooks and stealing in government, Senator?" boomed an oldtimer. "I'm against them," Dole shot back with a wry grin. "Here, Mark. Get my picture quick!" yelled a young blond named Susie, tossing an Instamatic to her boyfriend. She fought her way through the crush of oglers around Crane until she was at the candidate's side. Crane was saying something important about the Ayatullah and lack of leadership, but it seemed to be lost on Susie and others.

Connally, who poured the most effort and money--an estimated $300,000--into the race, staked his chances for victory on a question-and-answer session on the CAMERAS eve of the voting. But the Texan had trouble being heard because of the noise of the Bush band next door. Baggy-eyed and drawn, Connally sat in his suite in a beige chair as the time for balloting approached. Someone mentioned the morning line from Vegas, and Connally quickly wanted to know the odds. "Eleven to ten, Reagan. Take your pick," was the reply. The big man stretched and grinned with satisfaction.

Ronald Reagan had downplayed the affair as "meaningless," and waited until 40 minutes before the prevoting speeches before sweeping into town at the head of an enormous press entourage. He approached the podium behind Rosie O'Grady's Good-Time Jazz Band, and the cheering lasted for six minutes. Reagan needed only ten minutes for his speech attacking Big Government and urging a tough foreign policy.

The other candidates did their best. Sore throat and all, Connally roused the crowd like a cheerleader:

"Let me hear the voices that want to win the White House!" With his staccato delivery, Bush galvanized the delegates as he ticked off the jobs he had held, including head of the CIA, and declared, "It's time we got off the back of the CIA and the FBI." He described himself as a realist. "I see the world as it really is," he declared. "And it's tough out there."

He appealed for his listeners' help: "I can make it, but I can't do it without you."

Then the delegates filed out to punch their voting cards. The results: Reagan, 34.4%; Connally, 26.6%; Bush, 21.1%; Crane, 13.8%; Baker and Dole less than 1%. Bush's finish was the surprise of the weekend. Reagan left before the results were announced. As the delegates departed, the loudspeaker system was playing his canned thank-you speech, which echoed eerily through the emptying hall.

Harold Stassen got one vote. Another cattle show was over.

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