Andy's Answers

A priest on Everything

Every week or two Father Andrew Greeley writes a book. Well, all right, it only seems like every week or two: In fact, Greeley has turned out a mere 80 books in the past 20 years. His serious studies, like last year's The American Catholic: A Social Portrait (Basic Books, $15), should probably be required reading for anyone who cares about religion in America. But Greeley, a senior study director at the National Opinion Research Center and soon-to-be sociology professor at the University of Arizona, is best known for books, columns and articles that people read simply because they are readable. On practically any topic, Greeley manages to strike some readers as outrageously unfair and others as eminently fair, as left wing and right wing, as wise and wrongheaded. More often than not, he is stunningly on target. Greeley's latest confection is Everything You Wanted to Know About the Catholic Church but Were Too Pious to Ask (Thomas More Press, $7.95). Greeley simply took 101 words or phrases germane to Catholicism, ranging from Abortion to Wealth of the Church, and dashed off a snappy little essay on each. Sample excerpts:

Abortion. "Catholics should realize that while their position is currently described as 'unliberal,' there was a time, when the anti-abortion laws were written (mostly under Protestant auspices, be it noted), that such protection of the life of the unborn was considered to be a notable and progressive advance for civilization."

Celibacy. "I just can't accept the notion that a married Protestant minister, all other things being equal, is as free to serve his people as is the celibate Catholic priest ... Nor is there any evidence from the research done that celibate priests are any more insensitive or incapable of intimacy than are married men of the same age and educational experience."

Communism. "Much of the Catholic opposition to communism in the past has been based on the notion that it is 'Godless.' Godless it surely is, though much of capitalism is too; a much more effective argument would be that communism is inhuman."

Divorce. "In the early part of the last century our ancestors when entering marriage could expect it to last on the average twelve years before one or the other partner died. Now marriages will last on the average four times as long--48 years ... Unfortunately the Church is doing little to help people develop ... the skills of patience, reconciliation, perseverance, excitement and adventure which are required for such long marriages."

Ecumenism. "However much common statements may be developed on original sin, for example, the Protestant style and worldview still takes a much more pessimistic view of human nature (and human fun, like gambling, dancing, drinking, card-playing, and sex) than does the traditional Catholic worldview. These differences have been largely ignored by theologians."

Evolution. "Virtually all Catholic opposition to evolution has vanished--mostly because of the insight that if God works out his designs slowly and gradually instead of abruptly, his style is even more impressive."

Hierarchy. "If the American Catholic clergy and laity are satisfied to be governed in some considerable part by mitred pinheads, then they deserve such leadership ... There are, of course, many able, intelligent, spiritually wise bishops.

If you gave me some time I could maybe think of twenty."

Italian Popes. "It is curious that the Holy Spirit, who is supposed to preside over papal elections, does not seem to think that people of other national backgrounds are qualified to run the Church."

Just War. "Some Catholics have argued that given the advent of nuclear weapons, there can no longer be a just war, and that pacifism can be the only Christian response. It is easy to argue such a position when the American nuclear umbrella keeps one out of a communist concentration camp."

Liberation Theology. "The only ones who are really liberated by liberation theology are the oppressive Third World governments who are liberated from taking responsibility for their own political and economic problems, since the gringo devil makes such a marvelous scapegoat."

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